So a while ago, this guy followed me on Instagram. I thought he was going to talk to me since we did not know each other and we barely had anyone in common. But he didn’t. I took a look at his profile and he had some old pictures about his hobbies which were similar to mine, but he only appeared in two pics which were from a year ago. I found him cute and we had things in common, so I was waiting for him to talk to me. He didn’t so I tried to wait until he posted something to interact with him, well it’s been months and he hasn’t shared anything new. I know he is active bc he sees my stories. The other day I went into a new discord group and he was there. I talked to him but he is rather passive and only talks to his close friends there or exclusively about the game we are playing. I am interested in this guy but I’ve never had a boyfriend and I don’t know how to flirt bc I’m shy af. I really need some advice.
(Something I want to add: he seems a little bit rude so I’m scared to talk to him and making things awkward or ending up disturbing him)
5 comments
How about don’t flirt with him? He doesn’t seem to be interested at the moment.
Just try having a normal conversation with him. Talk about the games or whatever you have in common. Don’t jump straight into flirting. Just see how things goes. If he remains passive, just move on.
Next time you interact in discord you can follow it up with a IG message and just talk about the game to start so it’s a natural starting off point and then transition into other topics.
Honest question, if things become awkward, or he gets annoyed, would you mind?
To the topic, I would suggest messaging him. Come up with a couple of questions, maybe for a common hobby or the game, to get the conversation going when it gets stuck. And start with a simple “hey, how’re you?” (Or whatever you’d normally say in such cases.
Good luck!
I see your dilemma and I’m sure a lot of girls have been there, I know I have. If I were you, I’d just private message him on Instagram, just to say hi and ask how his day is going. If he doesn’t respond within a day or so, or doesn’t participate in the conversation to keep it going (i.e. ask you questions about you), then he’s not interested, and you should move on.
About him seeming rude, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s rude. A lot of introverts come off that way, or it could be a defense mechanism for protecting himself because he has trouble trusting. (I know I have a tendency to have RBF and come off as rude, but I’m not) Or… he could just be rude, lol. The point is we don’t know why he acts that way, so don’t let that stop you from being kind to him and say hi.
Whatever you decide to do, just keep it light. Never force a relationship or chase someone… If he’s not interested, he’s not interested. Just respect it, don’t give him any more thought, and move on. Listen to what people are showing you. Words are wonderful, but its really about reciprocity, how they treat you, and their actions that tell the truth.
Good luck, OP, and keep us posted. 😉
He is clearly an introvert and thus uses social more of a way to stay in touch with those few friends that do use it and/or to follow things of interest.
Reach out via pm on insta and start a conversation. He likely won’t engage in a more public forum like discord.