How do you deal with a gf/wife who doesn’t want you to workout because it makes her insecure?

50 comments

  4. So, what you’re really saying is that she is controlling, or at least attempting to be.

    Now…are you a man or a mouse? lol

    Seriously, that’s kind of a red flag.

  5. You could offer to do it together as a couple. Set joint workout times and goals, etc.

    Kind of a red flag though, ngl. Who doesn’t want their SO to be in better shape and more attractive?

  6. That seems very controlling. If a man refused to let his gf/wife workout because of his insecurities people, rightfully so, would be telling his partner to break up with him.

  7. I’d work out anyway. If she’s trying to stop you from doing something for yourself, maybe she’s not for you man.

  9. Do it anyway.

    Don’t let her drag you down. My wife did and I’m still struggling to lose weight.

  11. That’s a them problem, I’m not going to stop working out.

    If they can’t handle it, they know where the door is.

  12. Just go to the gym man. If she breaks up with you for exercise good riddens. If she’s special to you invite her

  13. Explain the concept of ‘boundaries’. She needs to understand that she can’t expect to keep you from doing things that you enjoy that are perfectly healthy and good things to do. She controls her life and choices, not yours.

  14. Tough shit. It’s my body and I’ll maintain it how I want. If she is insecure join me and we will fix it.

  15. calmly explain that their insecurities should be resolved by them like an emotionally mature adult and that going through that process would give them a more fullfilling resolution to their issues.

  16. Walk away on the spot. If her insecurity is more important to her than me trying to be healthier that isn’t someone I want to have as a partner.

  19. Sounds like a her problem.
    If she’s insecure, she better secure her ass into a workout routine and match you before some other chick comes in and secures her place.

  20. Start a tren cycle, leave humanity behind, fuck fat girls on the bus.

    It really is that simple fellas.

  23. Help her understand why you work out. My lovely partner is a human potato, but I love her to death. Our levels of activity are vastly different, so I explained by saying:

    “I want to be healthy for a long life with you.”

    And,

    “If I don’t exercise regularly, my back and legs hurt (I have skeletal-muscular problems)”

    Also, I try to schedule my exercise sessions so they don’t interfere with our time together. I also never, ever, ever, comment on another person’s body or exercise routine in her presence. I want her to understand I accept her just like she is. She doesn’t need to change a thing.

    Everything seems okay now that she understands.

  24. Maybe she should work out more to be less insecure.

    Essentially she’s telling you that she doesn’t want to put you much effort into her attractiveness to you.

    If your attractiveness goes up through working out, you may leave her. Her solution is to make you less attractive instead of putting in effort to maintain your interest.

  25. Wow that’s super self centered of her. I like big women. But when my partner wants to exercise I don’t tell her to stay fat because I like curves and get in the way of being healthy. They are prioritizing their pettyness over you physical and mental health. Red flag alert!

  32. I wouldn’t marry her if I encountered a woman like this. Your metabolism is only going to slow down as you age.

  33. Red flags bro.

    If you’re working out and she feels insecure about it, she thinks you’re trying to be hotter than her.

    If you’re trying to be hotter than her, you’re trying to attract other females to cheat with.

    If she thinks you’re trying to/are cheating, it’s likely she’s also thinking of cheating. *caveat: she may have had a relationship in the past where this actually occurred that really hurt her*

    I suggest you determine if she’s had any gym rat’s in her past that treated her like shit.

  36. I don’t work out to make her feel bad. I don’t have huge muscles or a six pack. I work out because I want to be able to enjoy my retirement and not be on a ton of medications or unable to move beyond my house.

  39. Put your earbuds in a few minutes earlier so you can’t hear it.. just keep walking to the treadmill.

  40. If there’s no kids involved we’re splitting up. I’m too old and life is too short to put up with anyone else bullshit.

  43. Work out anyway. That’s your health that is being affected. She’s trying to kill you with heart diseases and obesity. So work out. Get better looking and find a hotter partner who isn’t going to drag you down.

  48. Off topic, but I’ve always suspected that women who talk about not liking men who go to the gym and wanting guys with dad bodies are just afraid of their partners looking better than them lol

  50. This, my friend, is what we call a red flag. Healthy choices should be encouraged in a relationship. If you had a post that said, “My SO doesn’t want me to spend Friday nights at the local bar,” I’d be like, fair enough. Once in a while, with the fellas? Sure. Every Friday? Unreasonable and not conducive to a healthy relationship defined by healthy boundaries and wholesome expectations. But the gym/working out? That’s akin to saying, “I don’t want you to eat healthy because I don’t either,” i.e., jeopardize your actual health to cater to my control issues masquerading as “insecurities.”

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