I’ve been solo traveling more and generally loving it, though I find myself ambivalent about the loneliness I sometimes feel (which sometimes turns into a more nourishing solitude). I’m curious if you guys have any tips — practical, logistical or mindset wise — about how to better enjoy solo travel. I’m also interested in tips re: meeting new people, especially as a 30 something.
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Find the r4r in your travel area and see if people would be willing to meet up. You can learn a lot from locals in a short coffee meet than spending hours online.
learn the local language, to the point where you can bootstrap yourself for meals, lodging, and basic directions.
I personally dont travel with a set itinerary but more of a general idea of what I want to accomplish. This generally revolves around food. Finding a local who can clue you into the best local restaurants is good so you don’t get stuck at tourist traps. Based on my research I would have thought “The Dogs Won’t Eat Our Baozi” is one of the most popular baozi places in Beijing. So it must be really good right? No, its just on a very busy street (wangfujing st) which is like our Times Square. So it gets a lot of foot traffic.
i’ve been solo traveling for years. all 48 contiguous states multiple times, plus like 15 countries, about 95% solo. I’ve always loved it. total autonomy to do whatever I want. peaceful solitude. not having to worry about arguing or different goals for the trip etc. but about 3 years ago I started not liking it as much for the first time. I still do it, but about half the time I feel pretty lonely. I take my dogs with me when I can, definitely helps. They’re hilarious and goofy and engaged.
Get a dog. Best hiking/camping partners ever.
I just got back from a trip to Vietnam. I spent ages agonizing about going solo and planning an itinerary. Eventually, I decided to just book with an organized small group tour.
I found a specific tour that typically has an older age demographic, 25-45.
I’m so happy I made that decision. I definitely spent more than if I planned and booked everything myself. But I got to do and see things I never would have if I went solo. Trekking through a remote, mountaintop village, Kayaking in Halong Bay, touring and tasting weird foods at a Hanoi street market, mud fishing in the Mekong Delta…
It was also great to have a group of people to do things with. The group was 13 people total. 5 were the 25 and under crew. 6 of us (me included) were the 30+ crew.. and there was a couple, probably in their early 40s, that did all the planned activities with us but did their own thing outside of that.
There were a couple of nights where the 25 and under crew got the 30+ crew to go out and party with them, which was fun. I never would have gone out to a party street and got drunk while bar hopping if I was traveling alone.
International style backpacking makes it easier to meet people. I still stay in hostels and I’m well into my 30’s. I almost always find people to go out with if the hostel is somewhat social. If not, I usually make friends at bars and pubs. Hell, I’ve even made friends on day tours, walking tours etc. I’m not even super outgoing, I just find it easier overseas to make friends with other travelers or locals.
At home in the USA, it’s a bit more difficult for me unless it’s a party city like Nola, San Diego, NYC etc.
For meeting people:
– Hostels. I still mix it up with these purely for the social atmosphere. At this age I’ll just choose a private room or smallest dorm and then swap back to a Hotel/AirBnB when I want to decompress or sleep. You can find small chill hostels that have an older demographic.
– Day tours/activities. I didn’t do this much when I was in my 20’s but I’ve come to love them in my 30’s. Usually a small group of people and spending the whole day travelling/hiking/visiting different places, you can chat and hang out and maybe even dinner/drinks in the evening and then you can go back to being completely solo.
– Free city walking tours. I’ve met tons of people doing this, you just strike up a conversation with other people while walking between different parts of the city as a group. Once the tours over people are usually keen to get lunch/drinks and explore different parts of the city together.
For mindset:
I find that having some kind of activity or goal lined up for the place that I’m travelling to helps with the structure of solo-travel. When I was younger I would just travel to places of interest and then wander around/explore on my own but these days I like to have a specific activity in mind; for me it’s nature/adventure travel.. and then I fill in the rest of the time with everything else.
Eat dinner at the bar.
Other solo patrons have a tendency to be chatty, bartenders are usually hot and want to connect with you for tips – fun to chat with.
Great way to get local’s tips and reccos for things to do.
Added bonus, I fell in love with the bartender and have been together for 14 years.
Bartenders are the best people to ask for tips on what to go see and do in their city.
Finding other people to interact with is the hardest part. I’ve never had much luck with Meetup. Bumble BFF is surprisingly solid. Dating apps are hit and miss. The hits have made up for the misses by a wide margin. Some cities have Discords or meetup groups associated with the city subreddit that have made things significantly easier.
AirBnBs better be really, really special, or you’re better off just hitting a hotel.
It much easier if you book a group vacation.
If you decide to go alone look for backpack hotspot places. Which means there are more solo travelers. The only thing you have to do is go to a bar, get a beer, sit next to someone and ask ‘he where are you from?’
If you want to go solo and just be alone make sure you are mobile. So have a car around or something so you can visit places.
I have fairly broad shoulders, so sitting in a middle seat is extremely awkward for me, and perhaps my fellow passengers, plus I like to see out the window, but I’ll also take aisle. Therefore, center seat is a last resort.
When you book a flight, choose your seats on the website that you’re booking it from.
If they don’t offer that feature, try their official website or app as soon as you can. If they allow you to make adjustments as early as whenever you booked it, that’s great, but if not, try the minute that check-in opens, typically 48-72 hours ahead.
If you’re on standby boarding, show up at a time where you can be at the gate at least 2 hours early, and be the first in line when the gate agent is assigning seats and negotiate not having a middle seat.
I flew at least 40 times for business within the past 12 months, and I’ve never been on a flight where I’ve had to take the middle seat.