I know I’ve got a beer gut. Old age, stress from work/life and taking care of everything for everyone, health issues, I keep trying but damn it’s hard to lose it the older you get. At some point I’m going to snap when some random I haven’t talked to says something. I already have a SIL that doesn’t speak to me when she patted it and asked if I was expecting and I replied “no, just trying to catch up to you.”
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Idk what to tell you man, your mom always feeds me after we fuck.
“Thanks, it’s mine”
The biggest snake hides under the largest rock.
https://youtu.be/V9O94UTDAJQ
I mean she did try to point it out…but she didn’t know what a dad bod is. And tbh i was insulted that she thought i had one i wanted to cry.
I like good food, what’s yours from
“your mom dont mind”
“Oh this isn’t fat, this is my Chakra storage…for my partial-expansion jutsu……in my pants…”
“Yes.”
Inform them that 3 inches of fat will stop a 22. Caliber bullet. I’m not fat. I’m bulletproof.
The best response is to lose it. It will take time, discipline, and sacrifice. But no sarcastic remark will replace that
“Thanks! Its the gas tank for my sex machine”
Which usually makes my wife (who is almost always nearby) break out laughing like some sort of wheezing seal.
One time I was playing pool when a very skinny girl made a nasty comment unprovoked about my “dad bod.” She is skinny like underweight skinny. So i held my pool stick in front of her and said “Sorry, I didnt see you there.” She gasped and looked shock that I commented on her body. Fuck around and find out.
Nobody is perfect so I have no problem slinging something back at them.
Totally depends on how salty I’m feeling.
My salty response would be something like, “Studies show that changing any aspect of your personality is tremendously more difficult than changing your weight. This means that while I can put in some effort and lose my gut, you’ll still be an asshole.”
“Feeling the need to point out other’s flaws is a clear indication of insecurities. So what are you compensating for little fella?”
Gutsy thing for a woman to say. They don’t have the body confidence to pull that off.
Dad bod means high muscle mass and high body fat, it doesnt just mean fat.
This is not a Dad Bod, it’s a father figure….
«bought and paid for.»
also, that’s a pass to make any type of comment about the other persons appearance in my book, no matter how nasty.
Yup, same thing. It’s usually someone on par or with a bigger gut than me and mine isn’t big at all. I’m no where near obese or morbidly so. Once is ha-ha, very funny. If they keep at it, I point out their gut as well, which again, is usually much larger than mine. If they laugh at it, then we’re cool. If not, they usually get the hint and shut up about it. Don’t throw stones in glass houses type of thing.
My dad used to say “I’m 6 months pregnant with a baby elephant. Trunks already hanging out. Wanna see it?”
Just say “do you know how much money it took to build this?”
It’s never happened. What yup of asshole does that?
Polite version: I’m in great shape, round is a shape too, did you miss that day in kindergarten?
Impolite: Hey, why dont you make yourself useful, and go suck a bag of dicks.
Rub my belly button in small circles and breath heavy.
I mean personally i know ive got a bit of a belly so it doesnt affect me if someone mentions it. If i can think of a joke response i say it, if not i just say yep, i do. And move on.
This is what it looks like when you get fed and laid constantly.
I’ve been a non-stop, year-round cyclist for 5 years now (Never had a license). I bike 16 miles for my commute daily in a city with hills all over. I used to be very fit, then I got hit by a truck and I’ve been eating my feelings. I have the dad-bod, never lost the cardio.
Today my co-worker asked me how the ride-in was. I told him it was highly windy and what that meant to a cyclist, “These high winds make my life hard. It actually cuts my speeds down from 19 MPH to 5-8 and that days like this are hard work to be here.” and he says, “Work harder..” under his breath.
I felt it was a remark about my weight/health. He often brings these things up out of nowhere. I just arrived, I was still in a good mood. My endorphins were high from the recent exercise and making it to work early despite the effort.
I wanted to pick apart what he said right there, I decided to leave it. Even at my weight I know I could smoke him in cardio. He’s welcome to join me on my commute any day. >!If he can keep up.!<
Get your fat ass in shape
Best response is to start working out and stop being fat. Here come the downvotes