Every girl/person that I meet finds me boring, a little background of me: I grew up in a middle class family in South India, although my family is from North India, I don’t have a lot of money, people say I’m good looking and so girls start talking to me but soon end up calling me boring and move on, what should I do improve my game.
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Maybe you get anxious around women and can’t really talk to them… do your male friends think that you’re boring too?
Its chances after a while if people want someone to marry. A motorbike action hero guy is cool when you are young but when you want to marry and have children boring is good.
In my social circles women started to date “boring” guys after i guess 3 relationships with “cool” guys that didnt worked out.
But im german soooooo completly different culture i guess lol.
I dont know what and how you could chance i mean you are you cant play 24/7 to someone you are not.
Learn how to tell stories.
Do exciting things and have fun doing them.
“Thanks for coming out with me on a Monday, I just got back from a 3 day rafting trip, it was so much fun!”
You could even do moderately interesting things like woodworking or table top gaming and have a robust friend circle and a strong interest in it.
“I run a combine for 12 hours a day. Endless acres of corn run through my machinery.”
The conversation ends there and the other person can ask about corn or being lonely in the cabin or how you spend your time.
“It’s unbelievably boring but it gives me time to think about how I’m going to tackle my next woodworking project. I’m gluing up my biggest piece yet this weekend.”
“It drives me crazy burning up the acres. The good part is I get paid and when I get home my miniatures are usually done printing. Actually there is a batch printing right now. Have you ever played table top games?”
Have dates that aren’t boring. Multiple quick things, get coffee, walk through park, check out a construction site on the way to a small art gallery, or playing fast paced games.
“I need a ____, let’s stop in this shop” “i don’t believe this place actually has the best muffins in the city but now I need to find out” genuine and spontaneous.
If you’re boring that’s because you don’t do anything interesting. Go train and sign up for an amateur boxing fight so maybe you’ll have something interesting to talk about.
Have something going on in your life but not for the sake of attracting someone.
Are you overly agreeable? Find some YouTube videos on how to work on that if so. Boringness can tend to come from an unconscious feeling of needing to merge with other people’s energy or feelings in order to connect with them, and in doing so the person doesn’t really tune in to how they actually feel. It’s a way of being where you aren’t actually showing up as your own person with your own feelings, it’s all in the service of making other people feel special.
Background is interesting but I think what makes someone interesting is more current stuff. Like do you have any hobbies, interests (can be things like sport, tv shows etc.), what’s your job like, stories from university. If not then maybe this is a chance to try and do more fun things which will not only make you more interesting but you’ll feel more fulfilled.
Also funny stories are always an interesting thing to hear on dates
I fly attack helicopters, am in the best shape of my life, snowboard off cliffs, run ultramarathons, make 6 figures, and speak 3 languages. Women think I’m boring because I don’t try to stick my weiner in everything that moves I guess. Women think everyone’s boring unless they 1 – have sex immediately 2 – see you in a movie 3 – see you on instagram with lots of other women looking at you.
Women ☕️
I’m just trying to find someone the same boring as me.
Just find a boring girl to compliment you. Changing who you are to please women will not find you happiness. As long as you enjoy what you do and take care of yourself you’ll find someone compatible eventually as long as you keep trying.
Explore worlds. Talk about their interests.
Try to be more engaged in conversation. Solid (but not intense) eye contact, and a certain eagerness or enthusiasm to explore different aspects of life. Write down everything that interests you, learn about it, and think of a way you can add value to yours and others lives. A lot of people are more emotional than logical, so instead of asking the facts about what someone is into, ask what it feels like when they do it
Read more, be interesting in more things, have more hobbies. Basically have something to talk about
Game isn’t the problem. You’re attracting the girls. You need to have some hobbies where you can bring the girls along.
What so you do with your life? What does your Life consist of?
So … I’d take some more serious action.
* Join a storytelling course.
* Do stuff on presentation techniques
* Find a dating course
Don’t do stuff online if you can avoid it. Do it with real people and get real feedback.
I agree with many of the points below – but your problem is a common one so I’m a strong believer in just addressing it head on with a specialist.
Stop caring about being perceived as boring.
Don’t act boring, be flamboyant and fun.
Do some self reflecting questions and you’ll learn quite a bit about yourself.
What you want to focus on is answering some of the following questions.
What am I passionate about?
What excites me?
What topics make me feel engaged?
What kind of energy do I bring to a conversation?
Are my responses open ended?
What tone am I using during conversations?
What kind of posture/body language am I showing?
Emotionally mature people are very perceptive. They can tell when you are interested and aren’t. So if you are approaching conversations with low energy and aren’t really interested in the other person, they will pick up on it so quickly and it will kill your conversation really quickly.
Open ended responses are also important. Example
You: how are you?
Them: fine.
You: what are your plans for the future?
Them: idk.
Short responses are shit, period. Now the following would be better.
Them: how are you?
You: im good, had a great day at work. Looking to unwind for the day. Can’t wait to get home and watch my fav show before sleeping. How about you? Any plans for the day?
Boom! That response gives them lots of options to reply to. They can ask you about work, they can ask you about your fav show if they like shows, they can tell you about their own day, they can reply to your question. Point is, your response should be like a friendly tennis match. You want to set the other person up for an answer and be interested in what they say.
(You can also shoot me a message and I can try to help you figure out where you are lacking and what you can do to improve)
I matched with a guy who has an Indian ancestry on a dating app and went on dates with him. I don’t find him boring. He is a confident but humble man. We have same interests and I feel connected with him. However it is worth noting that I am an Asian who was born and raised in South East Asia. So that could be a contributing factor that I don’t find him boring, with almost similar cultural background, etc.
My two cents is this:
People who are boring mostly aren’t themselves authentically at all.
Which means when talking with other people you cannot convey the emotions well enough you feel when you talk about your hobbies.
What that would mean is you lack authenticity and perhaps energy. To get it back would be to make conscious certain beliefs and values about yourself and others which you can then choose to let go.
This will cause a sense of peace and you wouldn’t feel like there are certain things “you can’t say”, or hear the term “nice guy”, or be boring.
But you could also just be hanging around the wrong crowd I mean just saying…