I’ve been casually seeing this guy (we are pretty good friends) for a few weeks and I’ve begun to notice some interesting things about him sexually. I’m f24 and he is m23. First of all he is good with fingering and going down on me, but he doesnt like blowjobs or when I stroke his body. He blames it on being sensitive but mentioned something about being insecure (he is a tad overweight while Im pretty fit).
Anyhow, he has maybe cum twice and we have sex probably every week. He stops mid action saying he is tired or too warm. The first few times I didnt think of it at all as my first ex had the same issues while we were first dating. But now I feel like the problem is me and it’s making ME insecure.
I feel a bit awkward because it might just be a lack of sexual chemistry. I love giving blowjobs and he doesn’t like them. I love touch and kisses but he is too sensitive.
What could the issue be here? As a girl I need some guidance and advice. Thanks
5 comments
I was on a medication once that made it very difficult to cum. Wife wants me back on it 😂 serious it was pretty frustrating
Well first of all congratulations on being fit! That’s awesome! And also lowkey jealous you are getting to have sex with a guy 😂.
So you notice there’s no sexual chemistry between you two so maybe just stop seeing him? What about him makes you want to keep having sex?
Also- asking for a friend lol but what do you like about blowjobs so much? What’s it like to give one?! And I agree touch and kiss is great!
In most cases most men masturbate with a lot of friction, a dry hand, and a tight grip. Of course, this sets them up so that when there’s less sensation since a vagina’s grip can’t compare with his hand, he is not going to be able to reach orgasm. The problem is he doesn’t like to be touched like you said but giving him a handjob would have helped you put this theory to the test.
It’s his insecurity, you’ve even said it yourself. Unfortunately, it is entirely on him, nothing to do with you, so you have no reason to feel insecure yourself. If he sees himself as overweight while you are much fitter, he probably feels that you deserve “better” than him. All you can do is reassure him that you are happy with him and want him to see himself the way you see him (if this is true). Then it will be entirely on him to fix this.
I will say though, that a lot of what you write, despite it possibly being simply from his insecurity do make you two sound incompatible – you like giving bjs, he doesn’t enjoy them; you love touch and kisses, but he is too sensitive. These things MIGHT resolve over time as his dislike of them might be rooted in his insecurity and as you two get more comfortable, this might sort itself out, however if things don’t get better, you should probably stop seeing each other – you clearly want different things; you seem to want intimacy, touch, and reciprocity, while he seems to enjoy being purely of service.
It’s not you, it’s him.
Maybe he can’t cum because of medication, maybe because of medical problem, maybe because he’s nervous, maybe he’s got death grip problem. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that he enjoys sex. He doesn’t have to cum to enjoy sex. What matters is he comes back to you. It’s not you girl, if you were the problem he wouldn’t be coming back for sex