It’s my 30th birthday in a month. Unmarried and childless like the title says. Feel like my friends have split in to two groups – married with children group, or the going to rave and take drugs forever group. Don’t feel like I belong to either – I don’t want to be the sad older guy in a nightclub/rave, but don’t truly want to get married and have kids either.
If you found yourself in this scenario – how do you fill your weekends? Find myself so bored on weekends these days.
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Do something that makes you happy. I go for a walk into town, look around the shops, go for a coffee and then walk home. Solo cinema and theatre dates are also great for the soul.
Endurance sport or exercise? In my late 30s and I feel like a lot of my male friends got into either 10k-marathon length running or full days out cycling around late 20s/early 30s. They suit as a hobby which you can do yourself, but which has options to sometimes be more social too.
You can literally do whatever you want, start with the easy free local attractions. Then start moving further afield, it’s amazing what things can be found 20 or 30 minutes from home.
Try new things, learn an instrument or a language, go exploring! Hire a camper for 2 nights and go wild camping and walk some hills. Sit on your arse an play a games console or binge TV, go learn something new via YouTube videos and see if you enjoy it …
You get the point.
So your parent friends only go to play centres and your seshy friends only go to raves? Is there not some middle ground sort of activity you could do with each group?
Surely if they’re your friends up to this point you have stuff in common
Have you considered volunteering? St John’s Ambulance are always after people and you can give as much or little time as you want (plus access to some cool events). Scouts could also be good but often requires some time during the week as well. Volunteering at a charity shop is also a good option. I am sure there are others but these are just few I could think of/ have involvement in.
Things I a single childless man has booked in advance for the next 3 or 4 months … Clay pigeon shooting day, extra long weekend in Dublin with a marriage to attend on the thrusday, fishing trip with an old friend for trout in Scotland, weekend in Kent doing a tour of castles in Kent, dinner in a restaurant with another old friend. Things unbooked are… continuing the grind to get all the weapon Mastery medals in COD, various restaurants…infact having brunch in one right now, gym, walking around looking at things and just general as they come along ideas for doing things.
Do you live in a city? If so you can almost guarantee that there’s a group/club out there for whatever your interests are. The most valuable thing in the world is time and you have it so don’t waste it doing things you don’t want to
I got a dog, then another and then I had plenty to do, one of which was long rambling walks in the woods which is still my favourite thing to do
This made me laugh, sorry. Find some local clubs for things you are interested in. The world is your oyster as a single person. I’m 60, don’t have kids, have been divorced, and now married again for over 10yrs again. You can do whatever you want. Fine you don’t want to go raving, I can’t fault you for that, but their is a whole world of things you could do and you haven’t got kids holding you back.
Started going on long walks.
I am 29, single, no kids and have two friendship groups.
The first one is the group who are in committed relationships with houses, some are engaged and some have kids. If we want to arrange to meet up for a night out or something then we literally have to plan it like 4 months in advance.
The other group are in the same position as me and are out drinking pretty much every weekend.
I am somewhere in between both groups but I found myself going how with the second group more just because it’s easier to arrange things with them.
I’m taking steps to kind of balance in between so in my spare time I started walking a lot, joined a gym, started BJJ and I am considering becoming some sort of volunteer or a reservist.
I feel the same at just over 30. I try and do things that involve people rather than just solo hobbies because then at least I get the social interaction as my social circle loses its spontaneity (obviously people with kids can’t just drop things) and then the more you see the same people, e.g. in a class or a group, the more you get to know them and you make more friends.
I have a husband but right now I’m doing a me Saturday in the city. Did some shopping now in a pub just watching football. I try to enjoy it on my own. He’s on nights this weekend and I’m not.
You’re in the golden zone brother. How much disposable cash have you got?
I’m just about to turn 39 and still haven’t solved this problem, though most of my mates are in the married with children camp and not the raver camp.
We try to meet up online twice a week to play TTRPGs, but meeting in person is either something spontaneous when someone has a free hour or two, or something planned three months in advance. There is very little middle-ground.
I tend to go on long walks or cook unnecessarily elaborate meals on a weekend if I know I am going to be alone. I also occasionally play tennis with a few people from work.
It is what it is. People grow and change, so I’ll take whatever face time I can get.
Hobbies! The weekends are for chilling out and doing what you want. I just sit on the PC all day and play games, watch videos/movies, work on side hustles, etc and wouldn’t want it any other way
My son did a couple of things a couple of years back, which made me a little envious, honestly.
He spent 12 weeks in the US doing the camp counsellor thing, right in the shores of Lake Michigan.
When he got back, he mooched about for a couple of weeks and then bought a European rail card and spent 5 or 6 weeks travelling through France, Italy, Spain and Portugal. It cost him about £1200 for the ticket and hostels.
The secret to a good life is being able to be alone and happy.
Dad here, (not yours, just a dad) just do some fun shit. Please. If finances allow take a weekend break to Europe or an air bnb in a place you haven’t visited before in England.
Go out for dinner, eat on your own if you must. Enjoy the peace.
What is it about the magic age of 30 that makes people stop just doing want they enjoy and start worrying about what everyone else’s perception of them is?
Do what you enjoy and seek out new hobbies that maybe you might find you enjoy. I’m not saying go raving if it’s not for you but don’t not do something because you think it has an age limit… I mean fuck if you can do x, y, z once your 30 you are gonna have a LOT of years restricting yourself for no reason 😂 it’s like when my stepmum said she can’t wear jeans after 40. lol 😂
I was unmarried, single, childless, homeless (was back packing) and unemployed on my 30th birthday. Now I’m married with two kids, own my house (well, the bank does) and have a decent job. Often miss the before times! Enjoy them and don’t worry about the future too much.
If you’re into it, go to a hobby shop and try board games, a trading game or Warhammer etc. You’ll find many friends to play with and keep your weekends busy.
Anything you want you lucky lucky sod!
Personally I love the beach so if its near and warmish, that’s top of my list. My friends are also 30s single and childless but definitely not hitting the raves so I’m lucky to have them in my same boat but if I didn’t I’d book in for a hobby club like sewing, knitting, rock climbing, zumba, evening language course etc so that I’d socialise a little and then I’m happy to be solo for the rest of the time. Batch cooking, take on a project at home, go to the movies etc. My city has a reddit board that once upon a time, they did meet ups, might be worth posting in yours.
When I was your age, I used to join clubs, take up hobbies, work out, read books, date.
I still do all those things now (well not the dating, I think him indoors would object), 30 years later. I’m a petrol-head so I spend time at car related events and activities. I’m a member of a few car clubs which means I get to meet and make friends with like minded people and blather on the forums.
But the same applies to anything.
There are plenty of activity led socialising opportunities, whether that’s playing D&D, rambling clubs, volunteering opportunities, book clubs, make your own beer, meet ups at the local Games Workshop, join the local film institute etc
You could sign up for a few courses e.g. learn how to rock climb, angling, painting, geo-caching, orienteering, cookery, creative writing, pot throwing etc etc
Seriously, the world’s your lobster and you have the research capability at your fingertips. There really is no excuse, I’m always gobsmacked when I read these types of posts like the only things to do in life is either procreate or drink.
The beauty of getting off your derriere and doing stuff is that you meet other people who are doing stuff that isn’t drinking or reproducing.
Take drugs and stay in. Perfect compromise.
Unmarried _and_ childless? You do **WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT!**
30 was weirder than 40 for me in the same way. Started throwing myself into career development and cutting down on the drink and drugs. Went to night school college and qualified as an accountant as I just felt my life was going nowhere.
It went somewhere as a result
The joyous thing is you can do exactly what you want; no judgements or restrictions (laws obviously still apply). You have reached an age where you may be feeling that unshackling acceptance that you make your rules. You want to play super mario in your pants do it. You want to start sleeping in the afternoon go for it. You want to eat nothing but stuffing and recurrent jelly it’s all yours. You want to sit in a dark room and listen to an audiobook go for it. You have to look at what you like and what you want and stride forward with purpose. Gamer, baking, reader, hiker… the point is no one is watching so the only limits are your imagination. Enjoy this time of self-discovery.
I played cricket when I was a kid. During covid I joined my local team so I now play cricket on a Saturday instead during the summer. Sometimes on a Sunday too.
When not playing cricket I garden or go for a long walk
In the winter I either see friends or I relax and play computer games
Can we go Skydiving together sometime? haha
Sleep, read, computer games, board games, rpgs, gardening, cycling, walking, festivals (without drugs ’cause crew), writing, modding computer games.
One of my mates does running, training for a marathon. Another makes clothes. A third does re-enactment. My ex used to be the “victim” on first aid courses (with some disgustingly real looking makeup injuries).
I’m in your spot at 35 and recently single: outgrown most of my ever-dwindling social circle from my mid 20s, coupled and parenting friends gone well before that. I travel by myself quite a bit nowadays thanks to cheapie fares on Ryanair and the like. Don’t mind disappearing after work on a Friday and coming back to the UK at some point on a Sunday or super early Monday and literally showing up to work post-flight. I also use the not going out every weekend mentality to study and do some professional development as well. Most of this weekend has been on Udemy, tbh. Bank account has never been healthier. Hitting the gym is great time killer as well albeit not the most social experience.