So I was in a good mood yesterday. I ordered some chipotle and I told the lady if she can put more rice in my single taco, she asked if I just wanted a burrito instead and I said “I can’t afford that right now” with a smile on my face, so she got my a side of extra rice. She didn’t really need to respond in that situation so it’s fine. This next situation I bought an Apple Watch off someone from marketplace and when I pulled up to him, he was waiting outside and he asked how I was doing, I said “I honestly don’t feel good, I think I might have food poisoning” then he paused for a quick second and just continued to say something about the Watch.
I just can’t help but picture these scenarios going differently in my head. In my head I picture the chipotle lady laughing and reassuring me that she understands or something, at least has a smile on her face and i picture the second scenario with the guy showing compassion and concern for my health or something along those lines.
Am I doing something wrong? I just feel like both times, it fell on deaf ears and they gave me 0 reaction back. Am I expecting the wrong thing?
6 comments
You’re not doing anything wrong, and you are right that it fell on deaf ears. In my HONEST opinion, you can’t really expect people to have that type of attitude with you. The worker at Chipotle is just trying to get through her shift (from what it sounds like), and the guy on marketplace just wants to get the sale going on so he can leave elsewhere.
I think that it would be awesome if they were a bit less dry with how they converse, but I still stand by the idea that you can’t expect people to be conversational with you in that type of setting. If it were more like a group hangout, then that is a red flag that you don’t get any type of response.
These are total strangers. I’d have zero expectations.
Chipotle lady could likely have thought you were trying to talk your way into a discounted burrito, or pressure her into something like that.
Apple watch guy could likely have thought you were trying to use health as a means to talk down the price of his watch and didn’t want to give space to it.
So in both situations, your actions could be viewed as a step towards a ‘negative’ for these individuals. These aren’t people you know, so generally speaking it’s already more likely you are going to get a lukewarm response.
The thing you need to remember, is this isn’t about you. That Chipotle worker might just be mid dinner rush and all they can think about is the order they make food and the next order, so social interaction kinda dries up a bit when one is in that zone. With the other guy, you could be buyer number 8 for that watch and the 7 before showed up and tried to talk him down to an idiotic number so he just wants the deal over with quickly.
Don’t internalize these things as your issue. They are situational, and all I think you need to take from them is that people you don’t know generally aren’t going to care.
You’re saying more than is necessary or oversharing with strangers, they’re not obliged to care. Sadly it’s not etiquette to say how you really are when asked and I actually posted about this a while ago. While I personally appreciate honest answers, most people don’t and want to get on with the transaction.
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Honestly most people just want to get through their job or sell their thing and be done with it