What do you consider to be foreplay?

23 comments

1. To me, foreplay is mostly stuff that doesn’t include direct genital contact (kissing, cuddling, groping, dirty talking etc). I consider fingering, oral, toys and penetration equal forms of sex in my personal sexual relationships.

2. Anything that happens before PIV, so you are both correct.

3. Seems like the other two have said it. A lot of things before penetration and even some softer things. It’s a mental game with foreplay. While it can be fingering and licking and kissing it can also be touching the lower back, talking into someone’s ear seductively

4. Anything that happens before you bust a nut

5. Foreplay is anything that builds up to sex. Could start at dinner with some flirting, sexy talk, etc…

6. Two shots of Tequila

7. Rolling over

8. seems like you have an excellent progression laid out, at least.

9. Personally I agree with others and I think foreplay is more non-genital activity like nipple play, making out, etc. Not to be rude, but calling things like fingering & oral “foreplay” centers PIV as the main event, which is not only harmful to women (who often don’t orgasm from PIV) but also defines sex under a completely heteronormative lens and erases sexual experiences shared by LGBT people.

10. Lol… I agree with the latter response… But yep there can be a massive gap of understand g unless it is talked about.

11. 👍

12. I’m with your husband, what you describe is sex to me.

    Eta: although foreplay can be naked. I’m with other commenters, non-genital stuff is foreplay, genital-stuff is sex

13. Foreplay I think is anything that gets you in the mood for sex, this can be different for different people. It’s just whatever turns you on.

14. You are right. Foreplay is extended pre-sex; edging each other for as long as possible.

15. Everything between the last time, and the next time youre initmate.

16. Personally I thought foreplay was whatever happened before the main event. Which to me wasn’t PIV but making your partner orgasm (and I am coming from a hetero perspective). So anything that warmed your partner up and teased them before giving them an orgasm, was foreplay. Be that being flirty and teasing -clothes still on, making out, or clothes coming off and oral, or a hand job, that only went so far before whatever method was decided to get your partner there. Reading through the comments I’m just as confused as ever wondering if I’m weird for thinking that way….

17. both of your guys’ ideas make so much sense to me. depending on the day and how i’m feeling i see it either way.

18. Exploring her entire body from head to toe with my hands and mouth to find her trigger points besides the obvious in a teasing fashion. I take a lot of time with this teasing to make sure she is ready

19. I find that personally we should stop using the word “foreplay” since it implies a before and an after part, thus a hierarchy of practices: there’s the penetration and before there’s all the things designed to make it smoother. Like penetration must be the main part. Which also implies it can be optional since it’s not the main course.

20. Foreplay for us is making out, caresses to parts of the body that are not genitals so that would include nipples. Sex is anything involving the genitals and back door. I don’t subscribe to sex being limited by definition to PIV.

21. Ahhhh, labels. Who cares, its all play. Categorically its all Sex and fun, no?

    Phase 2. There’s the actual act when there is PIV and PIA.

    Phase 1. Foreplay: Here are my fav’s

    Alarm goes off, lean over and spoon here while I have morning wood
    Kiss her on the back of the neck “Good morning”
    Grab her breasts and pinch jer nipples “Ouch” Yep, She’s awake!
    Slap on the ass as she gets out of bed
    I get out of bed and go make coffee
    Placing a banana and two strawberries by her coffee to look like a dick/balls
    Pulling her hair when she’s in the kitchen pouring her coffee
    Lifting up her robe and squeezing her ass, again
    Spin her around nibble on her ear lobes
    Lift her on the counter and spread her legs
    Using index finger to play with her labia and clit
    Getting her wet and then leaving to go take my shower

    Then while Im at work- sexting and pics
    Sending her links to new toys, lingerie, and local kink events

    Later that evening-
    We make Sushi at home, so fucking sensual
    Put on a new 12″ Vinyl that came in the mail.
    She bought a new candle – that gets lit
    Sushi is done, I put a blindfold over her eyes
    We feed each other the Sushi, first with chopsticks then by hand
    Pull out an ice cube from our drink and rub on her lips and neck
    Help her unbutton her blouse
    Kiss her neck and shoulders
    Rub ice down her spine
    Unfasten her bra
    Play with her breasts
    Use ice on her nipples
    Turn her chair away from table
    Lift her skirt
    Start kissing her knee caps and rubbing her calves
    I sit down and grab one of her super cute feet
    Start massaging her arches and heel
    Begin wiggling each toe
    Start kissing the top of here feet
    Start kissing each toe (repeat 9 times)
    Spread her legs and then brush with finger tips toward her inner thigh
    My BB is commando so I begin with a knuckle brushing your vulva
    Teasing her now with my forefinger and thumb
    Grab ice cube and get her labia wet (more wet)
    Begin to inch closer to her vagina
    Blow a slight breath onto her chilled skin
    Move to with an inch of her vagina with my face
    Whisper her name, and use both hands to spread her vagina apart
    Stay there for a minute (building the teasing and anticipation)…

    I get up off the floor, tell her to go shower and then I go clean the kitchen.

    NEXT WEEK, PART TWO – Joining her in the shower….

22. Foreplay can be verbal too. Is writing love notes considered foreplay?

23. To me, foreplay is anything sexual before intercourse (assuming that intercourse is the end goal). Foreplay is basically the play time before you get to the end goal. It’s the “before play”.