I(15F) could change my entire personality just for them, I will do anything. I have a few people who talk occasionally but I rarely get invited to anything and I’m nobody’s first choice. I have some people who will hang out with me when they’re bored, but nobody will go out of their way to hang out with me. I tried my best to just be myself for 11 years, I’m hypertalkative and it’s so annoying to people I guess, nobody ever wanted to listen to what I had to say. I mostly will try my best to entertain people, or be funny, or litterally anything that will make them happy. Anything short of paying because I want them to be there for me. I just want somebody in real life to go out of their way to may sure I’m okay and ask what I want to say and listen to it. I don’t think that’s too much, I could listen to them as well. I just wish they could ignore how annoying I am and that some days I will have no energy and not say anything. I just wish somebody could have a normal conversation with me. My dream is for somebody to go out of their way to actually invite me to something. I’m so sorry if this came off as a vent or wish list, and now I’m crying. It just feels like nobody cares, and I don’t mean the random people who will say they carem because they don’t care about me specifically. I want somebody to actually care about me more than they care about other people. I don’t know if that’s selfish.
6 comments
This is puberty in a nutshell. I can assure you that you are not annoying. This time in life you are thrown together with the ever same people in school who all try to figure out what kind of person they are and how they are supposed to treat others and what they like and what not. It’s a hard and heart breaking time with a lot of emotional hurt. But it is not really about you and things will get better, I promise you. Especially leaving school and meeting new people can open up your horizon.
Find the things that you enjoy doing, for example painting, dancing, skateboarding, walking dogs, teaching smaller kids, whatever you are good at doing and have a good time and do them. It can help you build self worth and that in term will help people see you how you see yourself and care for you.
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Well I don’t think I can say anything but above person already said everything. And I how are you feeling right now. But I can ask u one thing … Hi there , what are you doing. I would like to know about u . You seems a nice person so would you like to be my friend?…
Be aware that posts like these attract creepy and manipulative people to your inbox, especially a younger female on the internet. You should never change yourself for anybody, the stage of life you are in right now is the most judgemental and harsh stage, image matters to teenagers and most will tread on their friends for some imaginary “cool points”. It’s after high school that people’s personalities really matter and where the quirkiest shine the most I find. Stay strong!
Kuuro is 100% right.
A. Your pool of candidates is tiny and also going thru puberty. Go to a big college. You’ll learn high school is a window but college is 3d goggles. There is so much more to see and experience.
B. Focus on your hobbies. Do those hobbies socially, find a group that does those things.
C. Listen, listen, listen, ask, ask, ask. People LOVE to talk about themselves. It sounds counterintuitive but the best way to get someone to like you is to get them talking about themselves. Strive for 60/40 or 70/30 where the other person talks more. Validate what they say so they feel heard then add in your own part to the convo. But get right back to focus on your convo partner.
This is just puberty, trust me we all went through this at some point more or less and it didn’t get better for me till I was about 19 but you will get past it and find people who genuinely wanna be your friend but highschool is a rough time for some. You got this!!