Hi, I am F(22) the guy I’m talking to is M(25) we just started to hang out and get to know each other we met on the 1st of this year he had to leave for school and I waited 4 1/2 months for him to be back. Now he’s here when he first got back I went to hang out with him and he tells me I look uncomfortable (but I was comfortable) he tells me I don’t talk or say anything ( I do consider myself a quiet person but I was still talking ) he tells me I act like I’m scared and I don’t talk so he can’t communicate with me. I do like him and want us to build a relationship but I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I think everything is going good then he says something that l’m weird and I say okay so tell me what you want me to do and he just laughs at me. I feel foolish. Once again I drove to see him yesterday for over an hour ( he doesn’t drive ) to spend time and he said I barely talk and he doesn’t like how I act. He said what kind of woman doesn’t know how to touch a man and talk to a man? I don’t have many friends I don’t go out just work n my hobbies. I feel less of a woman now I don’t know how to be bold I thought I was being myself but he tells me I’m not. I’m afraid I’m not woman enough for him but I want to so bad. I just feel stupid how I have to ask this for my experience is very low. I hope I’m making sense but I just got home from seeing him and feel like I want to cry because I want to be what he wants but I feel when I always try he says something
TLDR
The guy I’m dating says I’m. weird and don’t know how to communicate verbally and physically, for a shy introverted woman what should I do, how can I improve?
4 comments
You can improve by not dating men who make you feel like shit about yourself.
Tell him that you are an introvert and a quiet person in general. He should be able to understand your personality and not call you weird. Most people are used to chatterboxes and as you are quiet, he doesn’t realize this is you 🙂
If after you telling him about you, *he still acts weird*, then dump him 🙂
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I’ve been reading your responses to these comments and you have extremely low self-esteem. Extremely low. It’s very obvious you don’t like yourself or believe you deserve someone who appreciates you, accepts you and loves you.
You are extremely comfortable with explicit disrespect and lack of genuine care from others. Which would highly suggest that you come from a household in which your needs weren’t being met and that you are possibly suffering from trauma.
Any healthy adult who has a secured attachment and healthy perception of themselves would know they are great the way that they are.
What you’re doing is people-pleasing. It won’t go away on its own. You actively will need to work on building your self-esteem and decide you deserve better.
Please note that even if you manage to change yourself to benefit him; it’s going to be like a toxic parent and a child relationship. Where he has a considerably large amount of power/control over your basic autonomy and ultimately he will continue to treat you terribly.
Ps. He said you act like you’re scared…He sees that and is clearly using it to his advantage.
I suggest you look into getting therapy and addressing any childhood trauma and/or abuse.