It took a while to realize that I finally have friends. I grew up super lonely with no friends or only 1 friend at any given time. I’d hop around from friend group to friend group with no avail. It took me quite a while to nail down some proper social skills, but I do have some semblance of friends. It also took personal realization. Its hard to realize you have friends when your entire life you never did. However just because I now have friends, not everything is sunshine and rainbows. I have such low self esteem due to the years of isolation. I also don’t have the most social skills, they aren’t all honed.
Going some no friends to friends honestly is such a horrible process people shouldn’t go through. In order to gain social skills, friends, connections, you need to socialize. But socialization is some of the most tiring and exhausting shit i have ever done. Esp when you try your hardest and end up with nothing. And I don’t wanna give false hope to people. I’m not going to say “it gets better” or “eventually you’ll find the right people” because personally I don’t know if this was due to my social skills or just pure luck. Not everyone will have the same situation as me, but you may have friends, but the years of doubts are making you think otherwise. I wish everyone here the best of luck and I still have a long ways to go for myself as well.
3 comments
Hey, you really did a great job. Super cool. Thanks for sharing your experience. Let’s go further together.
It is a horrible process indeed. Long-term the benefits are numerous but short-term it may not seem as much and sometimes takes long to develop these relationships into a solid foundation. It is what it is.
Something I needed to hear. At this point it feels like I’ll never have any true friends again (like I had for about 2 years as a teenager). You’re right- socialization is important but exhausting.
If you’re having that “wait I have friends” moment you should watch A Silent Voice. The ending makes me cry every time since I’ve never had that feeling, but you might really resonate with it.