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Start with your partner’s finger. Or two. If you like and are not allergic, latex gloves might be in order.
The advantage of starting with fingers is that you can communicate to your partner when she hits the spot. She’ll learn it quickly. She’ll know how to hold her fingers to hit the spot. That way, when you want to try a toy, you’ll know the shape and length to get.
I’d consider myself a beginner with prostate play. Personally, the idea was more pleasurable than actually stimulating for me.
While it took me a lot of time to work up to, the flexible dildo from funfactory has felt the most pleasurable from a toy perspective. Nothing beat fingers yet though.
Mine I like hard not soft and it must vibrate ..depth or length for me just not enjoyable, shorter 4 inches or less, harder and vibrating hard is the ticket for me . Doesn’t need to be to thick even. 1.75 is my comfy size
Check in r/prostateplay
The Aneros products are amazing, but they are basically for solo play. A curved dildo that you could eventually put into a harness would be a good couple’s toy.