Hey everyone. I have a really hard time making friends. I basically have just 1 friend left. We’ve known each other almost 5 years but I think only really friends the last two.
We’ve hung out maybe 8 or 9 times. So not often but we’ve always talked and stuff. We used to work together so saw each other a few hours a week
We don’t work together anymore. Haven’t for the last year. We hung out sporadically. Thanksgiving. Then some random day in January and I think the last time was like mid March or late March
Around December he stopped using social media a lot. Or atleast that’s what he said. We never talk online anymore. It became like one message and then a few hours to respond.
We’ve hung out twice since then though. Anywya, I was really excited to hangout with him and smoke weed (I haven’t smoked in years). We made plans for last Wednesday (on a Saturday so I had to wait a few days).
The day off, like an hour before he texts me that we have to reschedule. Claims he threw up and feeling blah. I say ok and ask if Friday works. He says yah.
Friday around noon (we were supposed to meeet at 5), he says he’s still sick. Idk if I believe him.
He says “sometime next week”. He apologized for getting sick. He knew I was really bummed out but I say it’s ok and I’ll be around, let me know.
It’s Monday night and he hasn’t responded to anything. I feel like a psycho but I sent him a dm on Instagram, sent him a snap, and also called and texted. Not all at once but spread out. He hasn’t read any of them. Snap is unopened, insta says unread, and text says delivered (not read).
However, he viewed one of my snap stories so he’s been on. I also saw his snap score go up by like 100 since Friday so that means he’s snapping people left and right….
He claimed awhile ago he rarely checks his DMs and stuff but….. I feel like he’s just ignoring me while he talks to everyone else
Am I over reacting? What should I do?
Again, he’s legit my only friend and I really care about him. I’m heart broken. I cried my eyes out last night and even my boss today said I seemed off and asked what was wrong but I couldn’t tell her.
3 comments
You should improve your friend making skills and then make more friends so as not to be in this situation in the future
We all have to work on getting and maintaining relationships all our lives to one degree or another. When we get down to just one friend though (hey it happens!) it can put pressure on the friend, pressure that isn’t conducive to the ease that a friendship needs in order to thrive! We appear dependent and it creates an imbalance. People can even be afraid they can’t meet all our needs so they withdraw to maintain their own peace of mind and independence. You sound like a fun, caring person that feels a bit socially awkward…that’s the way with so so many people! Keep reaching out to make a new friend here or there. This particular friend may need a bit of a break. That’s ok. Keep them on a back burner while you focus on enjoying yourself in your hobbies and interests that can bring you into contact with other potential friends. Don’t sweat it!
Nobody in your life should be your “Only friend”. Often times, when somebody knows they are your only friend, they will start distancing themselves from you. This is because you are suggesting to them you are lonely without them and that you will become needy and clingy for their time and attemtion. By the way, people know when they are your only friend without you even saying it. They determine this by the way you act around them. People gravitate towards people who are socially respected in life, not people who are lonely.