We are both are virgins and never have done anything sexual. My boyfriend is extremely shy when it comes to anything sexual. So last night we went out for a movie in the theater and it wasn’t crowded at all. There was like three people in there with us. We were sitting at the very top on the far right in the corner. At first we were holding hands and then I took my hand and just started rubbing him up and down his leg and I could tell he really really liked it. So I took my hand and started rubbing him through his pants on his dick. His breathing got faster and he spread his legs out more and he was really really hard so I decided to slide my hand under his pants to touch his dick and as soon as I put my hand under there he let out a moan and stopped my hand before I could even touch him some more. His face turned bright red and he started crying saying he was so sorry and that he came in his pants. He wouldn’t stop crying and I told him it was perfectly ok I thought it was hot but he wouldn’t listen to me and proceeded to cry after I told him it was ok. What did I do wrong? Does he hate me? He got up and left the theater crying. Pls tell me he didn’t break up with me.
35 comments
He’s probably embarrassed, but you did nothing wrong! Just talk to him about it and see if he’ll open up about how he’s feeling.
He was embarrassed. I’m not sure why he would apologize to you since he was the one with a mess in his pants, but he could have shame issues. When I was young, I had a boyfriend who would never cum when we had sex. I always initiated (I have always been HL) and once he even cried. He had serious shame issues (religion!!). There could also be some past trauma, which means you should tread lightly and with great understanding and patience.
Have a talk with him and ask him why he was so upset. Even though you did not do anything wrong, apologize for anything that you may have done to make him react that way and that if you crossed a boundary, you did not know and did not mean for him to be upset. It might help him open up.
He was embarrassed. He will get over it and will be back for more. You made your lover orgasm – that is the goal! You did great. Now he can return the favor and you two can begin a wonderful sexual relationship. Sex is amazing when in a relationship. Greatest pleasure known to man, for me; making my lover orgasm feels better than having an orgasm myself. Seeing her face and body contort from the pleasure. It is a high unmatched in my life. I love it.
First time getting felt up and it’s a public theater. Talk with him today. He may need a bit of space. Try snuggling privately and see if you can break him out of his shell a bit.
I mean ejaculating in your pants is pretty embarrassing and not really something you want happening in public.
I suggest you show him this post and the answers, in particular my answer.
TL;DR – Dude, this is not unusual. Handle it correctly and you’ve got it made. Don’t handle it like I did.
This happened to me once. How I handled it has haunted me (gently) for a very long time.
Scenario was, I (Male) was a virgin. A really hot chick and I were not really dating, kinda more like friends making eyes at each other. We ended up at her house one day, to find out her parents were gone and wouldn’t be back for a while. It was obvious full on sex was on the table. We get to her bedroom and we made out, and she rubbed me a little through the pants. She went to take my pants down and made some incidental contact with my penis, and I completely lost it and came into my underwear.
I wasn’t sure she noticed, so I hiked my pants up, made some BS emergency excuse, and high-tailed it out of there. I am sure I left her confused. We ended up not talking materially ever again.
Now that I am older .. I realize this was perfectly normal, and what I SHOULD have done was apologize and play it cool, and tell her I’d be ready to go again in a few minutes and play with her while I waited.
It sounds like your girl understood, was cool with it, and even found it hot that she turned you on so much you lost control. THIS IS THE KIND OF GIRL YOU WANT. Play and learn together.
Embarrassed + hormonal emotional response. He’ll probably start to really find that hot later, in my weird experience.
Tell him you thought it was extremely hot that just your mere touch can set him off and you want to try and repeat it. Bet him that you can make him cum even faster next time. All the while teaching him how to hold his ejaculation longer.
update?
He could have felt disappointed. Have a word with him again and give him a few kind words and make sure he understands that you weren’t freaked out by it. One more thing to take note of is that, theatres do have night vision cams, so it’s not completely a private hall even though it may be dark and have a few people.
Young men edit climax extremely easy when touched by someone besides themselves – he was probably just embarrassed and overwhelmed a bit by the emotion. Tell him you thought it was hot and that you’d like to try a little more and see what happens.
That’s literally the cutest thing ever. He’s embarrassed… it’s a cliché to young men about it but it’s just part of the magic of establishing sexual relationships. Adorable.
Talk to him. He’s young, shy and most likely embarrassed.
Meet with him in person, hugged him and tell him you found it hot that he was so turned on for you. He’ll get over it ❤️
He will be fine, don’t worry too much about it
I would marry you If I had a GF like you back in my teenage days
Sounds like he got super embarrassed and you took his reaction as a compliment. Good on you for trying to calm him and having a healthy reaction.
It’s super embarrassing to guys to cum too early or too late. We’re constantly told that we have to be a sex hungry maniac that can please any woman in the allotted time. Often we’re shamed by women directly. It’s a lot to deal with at a young age with a beautiful girl for the first time.
Poor guy….he probably fears being judged by you, by God, or whatever. Just express to him that playing with him got you so turned on and that you love how hard he got. Say you’re sorry for upsetting him, and you want to make it up to him by letting him play with you on your next date 😉
He is embarrassed that it happened in a public place at a time that he did not expect it. The best you can do is reassure him that there is nothing wrong with what happened and if he is lucky, he can experience the real thing soon (if you are comfortable with it)
Good luck.
Practice this and then say it to him while looking him in the eyes:
+ it’s totally ok.
+ I love that I turn you on so much
+ I thought it was very hot
+ let’s do it, and more, again and help each other learn our bodies and what each other like.
He’s probably embarrassed. Having your first sexual experience in a public place could feel really overwhelming which might have caused the emotional reaction.
You should talk to your bf, ask him how he’s feeling and if he’s ok. He might just be embarrassed about cumming quickly and in a public place – it’s a bit like pissing your pants in public, it can feel upsetting to lose control of your body like that with other people around. It sounds like he was receptive to you touching him so it’s unlikely he’s upset at you, but I would approach him gently and with compassion here.
You did NOTHING wrong. And while everyone is responding along the lines of “….it’s just him and he’s young and an inexperienced”
That is selling you too short. Your role can’t be dismissed. That didn’t just spontaneously happen.
Yes, the crying was clearly the result of embarrassment, and more specifically… yeah, nothing to do with any kind of overwhelming sadness, but it has anything to do with the fact it was embarrassed and flush with emotions, which he was trying to suppress and maintain his cool,but at that age and level of maturity, holding back strong emotions for both guys and girls usually turns into spontaneous as uncontrollable crying.
But YOU made him cum. You unlocked something in him he was not prepared for at the moment, yet was wholly good.
I’m trying to avoid coming across weird or creepy, but also drive home the fact that it was *not* just random stimulation that made him spontaneously blow his load. There is obviously chemistry between you two, and he was clearly stimulated by YOU.
The crying again just trying to keep all on his emotions and losing control of that. I remember a similar example in my past at about his age — and my laughably douche bag boss yelled at me and made me cry — even though he didn’t, he was the last in the world who could have made me cry (he was literally the poster child for everything we (my peer group) laughed at, but when it came down to something where he yelling into my face (laughably while being a foot short than me) at wasn’t until a half hour later when I working in the back of the shop, I felt these emotions coming up that I was desperately trying to stuff back down, and all of a sudden I burst into tears. I wasn’t otherwise in a crying mood, it was just the emotions forcing their way out (and I was so pissed as the last thing I wanted to do was cry, but that only intensified it).
When you are a young man at that age, whether it is uncontrolled anger or a level of embarrassment where you are questioning yourself as a man, you don’t have the tools yet to stuff them back inside and they will come out as tears.
It is an inevitable part of emotional development and completely normal. YOU didn’t make him cry. It was just part trying to deal with an emotionally intense moment where he didn’t have the tools handy to process it all (intense passion combined with embarrassment and things undoubtedly confusing for him at the moment).
But *you* DID make him cum. Even it was a comparatively lower bar than what it may take him 10-20 year from now, it *was* hot for sure.
My advice is to not talk about the crying, but gently remind him it was hot. Sneak in how you want to make him cum again at theater and how it turned you on. He will get past the crying (this one time where simply ignoring it is best, at crying is a non issue). Just reassure him that he is still sexy and manly to you and how much of a turn it is to you to do naughty things like that in a theater (or similar).
You made it happen. He is lucky to have you and will appreciate it. He was just embarrassed as in his mind it was not the image of the stud he wants to be — but you can reassure him on that.
I remember having felt that in my first experience, didn’t cry or tell anything to my girlfriend at that time but I felt really embarrased.
I can’t really tell why but I’ll try to explain, I just felt that a guy shouldn’t come from stimulation through pants and I thinked back then was “if you can’t hold yourself through pants, imagine having sex” I felt like I was sexually incompetent which, thinking of it now, was stupid since it was my first experience.
Just talk about it with him, and tell him it’s okay and your goal was to give him pleasure which apparently you could do!
The title here is modern poetry.
So, you know hes extremely shy, do you mean even in private? Had you asked if he was okay with you touching him there at all?
I know Im going against the stream here but you should really be asking someone before you touch their genitals, at all, especially if they are shy or hesitant. This is about consent, and feeling confortable with what is happening with your body. Its okay to be unsure and want to try something new, but its important to talk about that.
I know everything is new and kind of scary and ita hard to find the words for things. But its scary in part because its IMPORTANT. Im still terrified of the most important conversations. But I know that means I really have to have them. Give him some space. Ask him later how he is feeling, and listen to what he has to say, without prying.
You didn’t do anything wrong and I doubt he hates you; it’s probably just supreme embarassment based on some combination of religious shame of sex, general shyness of self (esp. in public), and wanting to last longer/be better (aka, guys cumming in their pants and/or super quickly is wrongly shamed throughout much of society even now, as much as we preach body positivity).
So I would just reach out to him, see if you can talk in person (and if not over the phone) and first ask him how he’s feeling (so that you can better understand the reaction and better reassure him) and then reassure him regarding whatever fears he has.
Sometimes it’s emotional when ppl have an orgasm. Sometimes it’s too much emotion to process.
Be supportive and cuddle love on him. Just be there for him.
You need to obtain actual consent before doing any sex act, ESPECIALLY in public. From what I can tell, you acted without asking if he was comfortable.
Consent needs to be discussed beforehand and in detail. I know him responding probably seemed like consent, but it’s not. Bodies respond to sexual stimuli. You didnt give him time to think through the potential emotional repercussions of the act, or the potential LEGAL repercussions of a public sex act.
He shouldn’t be embarrassed. I have cum in my pants multiple times with girls rubbing my dick in theatre’s and other places. I bet he really love it. Good for you to for doing that.
Let him recover and continue to assure him that it was OK. Saying it was actually hot is really helpful. But only say that if you really feel that way. It needs to be genuine.
I’ve been with my partner over 10 years and lost virginity to same partner. I sometimes feel shamed after intercourse or intimate moments simply because I was assaulted at 4, so I just get in my head sometimes and feel ashamed of the pleasure. 🤷🏼♀️
This is the best headline! Quality Interneting!
He was just embarrassed and hasn’t learned to deal with that with responsibility yet. Hopefully he will, you’ve done nothing wrong, great job exploring!
If he breaks up with you, which I don’t think he will, that’s on him and no valid judgement on you.
He’s just embarrassed I’m sure. It would suck having to leave to clean up and go home for sure. But a lot of men stress about premature ejaculation too. He just needs a lot of reassurance and a plan for the future, like to say stop or not do it in public.
don’t know if anyone else has said this but just want to add that as someone who was SUPER repressed and awkward about sex, i would have appreciated my partner making sure things were okay more. i don’t think that this was the issue in this particular case at all but it could be in the future. making sure he is ok with what you’re doing before, during, and after is really important. ask even if it feels weird, it isn’t but it can feel awkward. encouraging communication is really important
You both are so cute! Nothing need to be worried Miss!💕
As seen in something about Mary. never go out with a loaded gun. Honestly it’s not a big deal I would laugh that off if it happened to me. I see why he’s upset, but really that’s a first world problem, just let him be embarrassed and tell him youre not put off by it.
in addition to everything everyone else said: dont ever show him this post. dont ever talk about this post. delete it, if you can.
Im 1000% sure he would be majorly displeased about this issue being aired, ebenthough its anonymous