He says it’s a joke but it hurts my feeling because I can’t just make the blood stop. It’s a part of life that I resent but there’s no way to stop the blood from coming
The issue is that it’s affected our sex life and he’s said that period sex doesn’t bother him, but every time I’ve tried initiating or hinting about having sex while menstruating, it’s a dead end. He’s told me that blood just freaks him out and turns him off.
We rarely have sex anymore and I can’t remember the last time he went down on me. I pleasure him because it’s enjoyable for me and I’ve given oral 10x the amount he’s given back to me. I am always the one to initiate and he said “if you’re horny you need to say ‘I want dick’ and I’ll oblige” but that always results in me getting on top and him finishing in minutes :/
Could I get some insight from folks who don’t have vaginas? Sometimes it feels like sex is just something he wants to avoid and I feel so awful about myself. I’ve started to become low libido for him because no matter how much he assures me he’s attracted to me, the sex life suffers.
8 comments
I don’t have any real answers for you. But does the reason why really even matter? He’s saying things that are hurtful, not satisfying you and not making you feel wanted. That can’t sustain. Either you talk to him about it and he changes things, you continue to be unhappy, or you end things.
It honestly sounds like he’s just really selfish and mean, so I would probably just call it quits.
What would his response be if a newborn shit on his lap? How about if a toddler pissed on the floor? I think if he really puts some thought into some of the benefits of your period he might look at it differently. Just a thought.
Period sex is a tricky subject and has to be dealt with in each owns relationship. I never minded it, wasn’t my favorite but sometimes our wants just blew past the fact that she was on her period. The shower is a great place for period sex.
If he’s not really having sex anymore because of this, there’s something else at play. There’s no way he didn’t understand your cycle prior to your relationship. His request about how to ask for sex is kinda fucked. Again, just my opinion. I couldn’t imagine asking my partner to request “dick”.
I’m just internet Reddit guy so I can’t say what you should do. I’m just offering honest insight. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship but its a big thing. Its a place where we should feel vulnerable, comfortable and wanted.
Hope that helps…
You said “he’s said that period sex doesn’t bother him” but then “He’s told me that blood just freaks him out and turns him off” so which is it? I’m confused. Either way, it’s OK if he would prefer not to have sex then (which my husband does and frankly I don’t like the mess anyway), but saying “gross” is just rude. He needs to grow up.
You need to talk to him about the sex. He sounds like he is avoiding sex with you, which could mean he’s not really into the relationship anymore. If I had a nickel for every man who didn’t have the balls to break up with the woman and instead make her feel like shit long enough so she would break up…. Anyway, the sex is his issue and he needs to address it. You need to express how unhappy you are with it and have a deep talk about where to go next.
I have strong reactions to blood in almost any setting. So I have always been reluctant to have period sex. However, I can’t imagine telling someone that it is gross, even as a joke. Instead, I explain my issue with blood, and most women have accepted that.
Honestly, it sounds to me like he either had a low libido, or has lost interest in sex with you. I know that last part sounds harsh, but I’ve been there in a relationship. It wasn’t the other person’s fault – it was my own issues – but humans have a real knack for putting the blame or responsibility on other people (“it’s gross” or “you have to ask for sex in this specific way”) for their own bullshit.
>he’s said that period sex doesn’t bother him, but every time I’ve tried initiating or hinting about having sex while menstruating, it’s a dead end. He’s told me that blood just freaks him out and turns him off.
You physically can’t both be ok with period sex and be freaked out/turned off by blood. He’s lying
>I’ve given oral 10x the amount he’s given back to me. I am always the one to initiate and he said “if you’re horny you need to say ‘I want dick’ and I’ll oblige” but that always results in me getting on top and him finishing in minutes :/
He seems to have zero interest in your pleasure
>Sometimes it feels like sex is just something he wants to avoid and I feel so awful about myself. I’ve started to become low libido for him because no matter how much he assures me he’s attracted to me, the sex life suffers.
He’s selfish in bed and a liar. If your intuition is telling you he wants to avoid sex, maybe he’s also lying about his sexuality and you’ve picked up on some signs unconsciously. You don’t have to stay with someone who makes you feel unattractive/unwanted.
Ok. I used to do this with many of my GFs. It was and always will be a joke. Is it diisgusting? Sure. Im sure women find it disgusting too. BUT being able to joke about it softens the reality of it.
I guarantee he doesnt mean shit when hes like ew gross period.
It would be different if he was like “hey dont talk to me about your period its disgusting as fuck”
>Could I get some insight from folks who don’t have vaginas?
That’s me! I don’t have a vagina. But my wife does. And instead of dreading her period, we both get excited for it. It’s something different that only happens a few days every month. So she’s always excited to tell me, and I get excited to go down on her and experience something different than usual.
I’m not saying every guy has to like what I like. But there are those of us who do. And even those who don’t, can be a lot more tactful than your bf. Something to consider when you’re determining if the juice is worth the squeeze with this guy.
He is projecting his immature discomfort onto you, it’s cruel, and you don’t have to take it. Put your foot down and don’t allow him to continue this disrespect. You don’t have to stay with people like this just because they are nice *usually.* They don’t get to buy free abuse with niceness coins.