I (F21) recently lost my virginity to another virgin (M21). We’ve had sex around 7 times. Masturbation and sex, including foreplay, only feels minimally good. Like in a eh, that’s nice I guess, kind of way. I’ve tried touching other body parts, using a vibrator, exploring my body but none of it feels that great? I do masturbate often but I also get minimal pleasure of out this. Sex I enjoy because I’m close to another human who is turned on by me, so mentally it’s good but physically not so much. Has
My body just isn’t that sensitive. Does anyone have any tips to make it feel better? Have I just been masturbating in a specific way that’s hard to replicate during sex? I’m not on any medication, I’m not depressed, not nervous during sex and definitely not asexual. Would exercise help? Should I get more sleep?
4 comments
All are very likely causes, based on your write up it is difficult to say which of them will be the most likely. I would suggest that if you only get minimal pleasure from masturbating, perhaps scale back how often you do it and put that energy into other things such as exercise, a better sleep schedule, finding a hobby to use up that free time. Perhaps making your body only experience sexual pleasure rarely as opposed to regularly, might make it more enjoyable for you.
The psychological pleasure is actually what amounts the most tbh. Physically it can only feel so good. Specially when you’re doing it very often you kinda get used to that level of pleasure.
Maybe try decreasing the frequency and hence you’ve figured that mental stimulation is what really makes the difference for you then look for the ways that increase the mental pleasure.
For a lot of women especially, it seems there is more mental and emotional aspects that can play a part in sex. Us guys are usually fairly grounded and simple in desires. But I’ve noticed a lot of women are so much more open to sex that plays on the passion and emotion behind the sex rather than the sex itself. Maybe the right partner could bring it out in you. Maybe you have other sexual appetites that require attention. Continue to explore other forms of sex and stimulation. Read erotica and picture fantasies. As a guy I have next to no actual clue about how women work, but I’d rather say what I think I know, and be told I’m wrong and explained how I’m wrong, by someone who actually knows, than believe my idea and not know I was wrong.
It all depends on trust and relaxation. When you can truly give all your pleasure will also increase