I am a trans woman who has endured a lot of trauma, pain, and loneliness. As a result, I have crippling anxiety and massive trust issues.
My bf and I started out as friends, and then he became my only friend. He saved my life, and then I realized that I’m in love with him. After I told him, he realized that was in love with me too. We are very long distance, but he is willing to give things a try. He’s the closest friend I’ve ever had in my life. We video chat every day, sometimes all day. He tells me all of the time how much he loves me, and no one has ever treated me as nicely.
We met through a kink community and somehow we matched. It’s usually difficult for me to find partners because of my kinks. If things were to work out, he would be willing to move to my country and learn the language.
There’s just one problem. I have always been attracted to women, and have never been attracted to men. My bf is not ugly but I’m simply not attracted to any man and I so desperately want to be with a woman. My bf has known and understood this from the very beginning, and is still willing to help me find a gf even though it breaks his heart.
I feel horrible. Part of me feels like he’s the only person I can be with because no one will ever treat me as good. I’ve been treated horribly by nearly everyone I’ve met.
If you or know someone who has experience in this kind of situation what advise could you provide?
I am currently in therapy.
I have never had the ability to physically be with someone. I don’t think things could work between my bf and I but he is optimistic, and he has never even been with a trans woman before. I’m deathly afraid of being hurt again by someone abandoning me so I’m afraid of dating.
Please help me, I’m thankful for your advice.
TLDR: I’ve never been in a physical relationship before. I’m attracted to women but fell in love with my now bf and I’m not sure if things can work
1 comment
>Part of me feels like he’s the only person I can be with because no one will ever treat me as good.
I read /r/relationships a lot, and this is such a common sentiment among people who are considering breaking up, I’ve kind of gotten numb to it. You’re not alone in feeling this way – I think everyone who’s nervous about leaving a relationship feels this, to an extent.
Would you be open to just being friends with the guy? It sounds like he’s open to it.
Also, you may be more likely to find advice with more tailored, specific considerations in a trans-related subreddit.