This seems to be happening a lot recently, I’m not sure what is going on. I recently moved to a new city so I don’t have any of my close friends here anymore with whom I never had this problem. Basically it seems like every single person I talk to is not really interested knowing anything about me and is just disinterested in general. My conversations tend to quickly turn into a one way convo where it might flow for a little but then if I stop talking or asking questions it will just be silence. People just tend to loose interest when talking to me. And sometimes even worse, I take the innitiative and I get flat out ignored… It feels so awkward I hate it so much, I feel invisible.
The same thing happened yesterday with some people from uni. We were in a group of 4 and people just tend to talk and look at everyone else but rarely at me. It’s not even that they are rude and hate me because sometimes they are nice to me one on one but it seems like they almost just flat out forget my existence, are disinterested, or just put me at the bottom of the totem poll. It feels like I’m just someone to fall back on when no one else is listening or available, they might turn to me but that’s about it.
My theory is that I may or may not be on the spectrum and that people notice something off with me? I don’t know I’m just speculating. Or maybe that at the beginning people do ask questions about me but I don’t give them much to work with (I’m not vulnerable enough). Has anyone else experienced this?
6 comments
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I think you overthinking every single interaction you get to have with people. You are new, obviously you are not gonna be treated by the others like and old friend… Things take time to develop.
The fact that you feel invisible can be related with self esteem issues so maybe you can focus on that instead. There’s a lot of people in your situation, even new as you are, trying to fit in new social environments.
It’s probably your vibe. People pick up on your vibe instinctively, it’s what’s in your heart and communicated automatically by our face, our tone of voice, our body language, our whole personal aspect.
I wrote an article on this that you might find helpful
###[What To Do If You’re Socially Invisible](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/comments/10tggoo/what_to_do_if_youre_socially_invisible/)
“I’ll just be ignored. Others would ignore what I say and proceed as usual.”
To ignore something is to give it no attention. When you see a big, red stop sign while driving, what do you do? You stop because it has your attention. If you say interesting things people care about, you cannot be ignored. But if what you say is on a different frequency to what someone is attuned to, you may be like a ghost in the wind. So much so that you’ll barely have any presence.
If you’re speaking loud and energetically with a positive attitude. Talking with nice people (who don’t belittle others for the fun of it). And don’t interrupt people while they speak. The problem lies in not talking about interesting things they care about. Where these interesting things make people feel good.
Unless these “friends” truly do ignore you consistently. In that case, you may just need new friends.
Dude I totally feel the same…I’m thinking it’s a vibe thing but also social status. So either you achieve status throuh career, money, skills or success with opposite sex. Also social skills.
So plis noproblen no plis yuo