I (35M) went on a work trip to Hawaii with my coworker (25F) around three months ago. We live on opposite ends of the country and had never met in real life. We both gave off signals of interest from day one and quickly discovered we’ve had a crush on each other for about three years. During our time there we had some romantic dates, lots of quality time together in group settings, and the most passionate sexual experiences I’ve ever had. We left with a mentality of, “see you when I see you!” Just kind of figured that was where it would end.
Since the trip we were talking and texting frequently. Sometimes talking about our family plans, sexual desires, regrets, etc. Pretty deep stuff for just a few times we hooked up in Hawaii, right? Surely it’s more than that.
About a month ago I got assigned a work trip to her home city. She got really excited when I told her. Leading up to it, the lust grew exponentially in our communications. I came into town early and we took some time off work to be together. During our time everything grew. She invited me into parts of her life that infer this connection is important to her. I met her friends several times. We had a few date days. In total we spent eight of the nine days together. Another relevant detail is how physically loving she was. Tons of eye contact and smiling during sex, lots of cuddling, and spooning to sleep.
Our last night together I confronted her during pillow talk. I just said, “what are we?” She said, “us?” Then she told me that, “since I don’t live there, so what could we be?” She also said, “if you lived here, you likely wouldn’t be my boyfriend”. I really didn’t know if she was teasing me or meant that.. I responded with, “I disagree. I think I’d be your boyfriend.” She just responded, “really?”, while giving me that loving smile and deep eye contact. I wasn’t really sure how to take it, but I didn’t want to push anything to an awkward place.
The next morning we yet again had passionate sex and spent the day together, even after the awkward conversation the night before. When I walked her to her car in the evening I asked, “where do we go from here?” She said, “it can’t go anywhere”. Then I gave her a kiss and told her I was still going to talk to communicate with her outside of work.
Here’s where I’m at now and what I’m asking.. I would move to her city. I love it there and I don’t really care for where I’m at. There’s legitimate career reasons I would do so as well. But I wouldn’t be willing to do that without exploring what I have with her more. At least one more trip together. **There’s a good chance I could will us being on the same team for another work trip, but is that too manipulative? We haven’t communicated with each other the few days since I’ve been back home.** **Should I text? What would I even say that would help my/our cause?** For context, she was hurt in a long distance relationship before and I think it’s sort of guiding her feelings.