Some backstory: I (23F) have been dating a guy (28M) for six months but we live in different states. I’ve been to see him twice, and prior to that I had no experience whatsoever (literally none) but am very aware of most things sex related.
During those two visits, we kissed, grinded, he fingered me, and I gave him two handjobs. All of which were great if not totally out of my comfort zone prior. He’s literally the sweetest most considerate person, and i want to be in a relationship with him long term. He is keen to do more, at my pace, and with an upcoming visit next week (he has a layover in my city overnight) he’s hinted at wanting to try oral (based on previous encounters he seems very interested in being on the giving end).
I’m sure it would feel amazing, but I have all of the typical insecurities/worries (it’s so vulnerable, what if he doesn’t like the way I look/taste/smell) that I don’t know how to get past. I’m far more interested in making him feel good, but there’s all of the worries with being on the giving end (how do I do it, what if it’s bad, how tf am i supposed to keep my teeth away). All of which comes down to me being embarrassed or embarrassing myself it seems.
Also, he’s only here for one night, and I haven’t seen him in a few months, I wonder if I’m going to feel a bit hesitant to even jump back up to where we were before.
Anyway, TLDR; how do I know if I’m ready for oral sex (giving or receiving) then later PIV if I have no experience with them?
1 comment
I would decide ahead of time what exactly I want to do. This gives you time to really think it over. Then I would communicate that clearly to him, what I want to do on our one night together. And I would include whatever feelings I have about receiving or giving. But saying it out loud ahead of time will then help you keep that promise when the time comes, with the knowledge that you can just say at any time “Actually, can we just talk about this.” Or something I love doing when I feel uncomfortable is to say “Time out” and put my hands in a T.
But it sounds like you have a really special guy who is a good person, and that is the perfect person to try these new things with. You got this!!