Sex feels so empty for me and I don’t understand why.

First of all, I am sorry if this may sound silly and I apologize for any mistakes as english isn’t my first language.

I never shared any of these thoughts with anyone because every friend around me seems to be satisfied with sex (as far as they tell me) and I just feel alienated. To make it short: penetration really feels like nothing to me.

I have been sexually active for two years and could only actually feel pleasure on my own. I am very active with my current partner but intercourse always ends up being a bit unsatisfactory.
When we first started dating, I experienced a lot of pain while being penetrated and I went through different obgyn appointments and checkups to no avail.

I started reading up on vaginismus and dyspareunia once the obgyn mentioned them to me, and I started doing pelvic floor therapy as well. My partner was understanding and we eventually figured it out. With trials and errors, we figured some angles and some positions don’t hurt. So, because the pain was gone, at first I was so relieved that feeling nothing felt like a conquer. (Though, I still tend to bleed after sex, but I know it’s my cervix.)

But as time went by, I realized that I can’t feel any pleasure when my partner penetrates me :/ I have only had sex with three people, so I don’t know if this is common, but it’s really frustrating. I wish I could tell my s/o but he already had started avoiding sex because he didn’t want to hurt me, so when we restarted, he looked happy about it feeling nice for me, too. I feel like I am always the one starting problems.

My partner also often points out I seem to be a bit disconnected during sex. I can’t feel anything unless he is (or I am) stimulating my clit. I am so lost, is it supposed to be like this? Why is my body just… not cooperating? Sexual intimacy is so important to me but I get so turned off by my own self during almost any time I have sex.

I would appreciate your experiences, your advice, your thoughts on this.