I’m new to this sub, and to reddit but it’s like I can’t talk about this in my daily life, but I’ve never came or had an orgasm while masturbating. I’m a 20f, and my history with masturbating is basically I wasn’t supposed to do it bc it was sinful in the eyes of God ( Christian household) So I didn’t really start exploring until the pandemic/quarantine. I know what turns me on, and I usually just do what feels good, but to no avail, then I get really frustrated. I feel like it’s super embarrassing, but I really don’t know why, or what I’m doing wrong or is there something wrong with me? Is this normal for other woman?
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Not a woman but female orgasms tend to be more elusive, you can’t just grind them out mechanically the way you can with male orgasms.
In this case that means that your frustration and embarrassment are likely quenching your arousal, making orgasm impossible. Try to let go of your expectations and just relax and enjoy yourself. It feels good even if you don’t have an orgasm, so just enjoy what you’ve already figured out, find some hot erotic literature, keep chasing better feelings, and eventually you’ll probably stumble across what you’re looking for.
>I know what turns me on, and I usually just do what feels good, but to no avail, then I get really frustrated. I feel like it’s super embarrassing, but I really don’t know why, or what I’m doing wrong or is there something wrong with me?
You’re getting frustrated and embarrassed because it takes a long time for you to reach an orgasm?
What is your technique of masturbation here? And what’s your stimulus and driving factor here? Are there any erotic materials involved or is it just your imagination?
hi! i’m also 20f and i’ve been masturbating since probably the age of 13. i also can’t orgasm, alone or with a partner. i’ve read all the articles, tried different toys, and it hasn’t happened yet! i have 3 other friends my age that have opened up to me and said they’ve never had one. we aren’t alone! the closest i’ve come to orgasming is when i felt turned in already, i have no worries of being interrupted/time constraint, and i don’t stress about it. when it gets closer to the “oh shit is this about to happen?” i think i get in my own head at that point and it just hasn’t happened. at the moment i just focus on feeling good with no end goal in mind!
Do you live alone? Are you able to order a toy?
This is completely normal! A lot of women don’t really learn how to orgasm until their early/mid-20s. I was raised similarly to you, and actually left the Christian church over it. I couldn’t imagine going through the guilt every time I had a sexual thought for the rest of my life! Around 24-25, it all came together (pun intended) and I’ve enjoyed almost two decades of reliable self-pleasure since. Just keep working on it. It can take awhile for the guilt to really go away so you can fully relax.