I started a new job a couple months back (like 4 or 5) and thought I’m on good terms with most people if not everyone (beers after shifts, casual messages etc). Today I found out that everyone from this evening shift that I’m on is going clubbing after work and only I wasn’t informed or invited… I know that there’s ppl who are more interesting than me or are more social, but I am really trying my best, I voice my concerns, apologize if needed, crack jokes, try to start conversations and not to complain but seems like I’m still kinda alienated from all the other workers. Idk if it’s important but I am the newest worker in the company so.
any advice would be appreciated:(
5 comments
Well, I think next time, just ask your coworkers if they’re going. Why not you initiate the drinks, and invite them to see who are the ones willing to come with you. Then, you can see who actually likes you and who doesn’t. Do this, three or four times when appropriate to roughly gauge your coworkers
You were already hanging out with them after shifts, but you were not invited to clubbing. Could it be that they thought you weren’t into clubbing, or there was some kind of miscommunication? Or maybe they felt you were too new of a join to invite to places where people usually drink and let loose.
I suggest not making this an issue, and give yourself a few more months to settle in. In the meantime you can slip into conversations with people at work that you would like to go clubbing, or actively invite them to do activities together. Preemptively assuming that you are unlikable would make this worse, IMO.
You become respectable (in fact likeable) by exhibiting social skills and actively working towards something in life and accomplishing things in life such as goals, hobbies, skills, talents, etc. You need to establish yourself in something i.e. get good or excellent at something that people value or desire, and build a good reputation. You yourself need to act and carry yourself in a respectable way.
Looks like I’ll be buying a lot of drinks then. Cheers to finding out who my true friends are!
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Read that.
Basically, just remember people’s names, express an interest in their lives, ask them questions. Remember everyone’s favorite topic is themselves. Show signs that you’re friendly and that you like them, and they will often reciprocate. Some people are dicks though just move on.