I moved in with my girlfriend about 4 months ago. Before then, we would just see each other on weekends. We’ve been together for years and our sex life has been pretty good. Every weekend we’d have sex, sometimes multiple times.
About a year ago I started working full time because I wanted to have enough money to get an apartment with her. This has caused me to be VERY tired, pretty much all the time. I’ll come home and need to take a nap some days.
Anyway, we found a place and moved in 4 months ago. For the first month we were having sex pretty regularly, a few times a week, and there weren’t really any issues. But i guess after the first month we started having sex less often. She was tired, I was tired (though that never seemed to stop me before), and now we’re at a point where we have sex once a week, and every time it is horrible. I can’t maintain an erection. I’m simply just not horny, or if I am it goes away. Sometimes I can’t cum at first, but then a few hours later I can.
She’s always talking about how I watch too much porn and how I’ve been desensitized, and yeah, I watch porn multiple times a week when she’s not home, but I feel like I watch it less since moving in with her, and even still, porn was never a problem before. I wouldn’t say I prefer porn, but when I’m this exhausted from work it’s just easier to get it done quick by myself.
Sex is tiring for me, and now it’s putting pressure on me because I don’t want to disappoint her, but that just makes it worse. I keep losing my erection, and I’m not sure if she’s right about the porn or if it’s something else causing it. What do you think?
2 comments
Sounds to me like it’s something else bro, that’s not that much porn.
Try to take away some of the stresses in life, anything that can be dropped that may be taking too much of your time.
You can quit porn, that usually increases IRL libido, so sure that may help.
Try setting aside a time for sex **options**, where you two are free, and can or not have sex.
Also, and I know I was saying free up time but, try chasing her again, take her out, make romance more prominent in your relationship again. This can help remind you of the things you find attractive in her, and may help improve your feelings.
You can also ask her to help with more foreplay: I don’t only mean a bunch of BJs, though that’s ok if she’s down for that, I mean kissing your neck, ears, he’ll even your nipples, whatever fires you up. Then try making it a game, how king can you go without actually penetrating her? When you lose, you may win, big time. (Know what I mean?)
Good luck, and congrats on getting out there in the world with her and a job!