My boyfriend (20M) and I (20F) have been together for 9 months so far. We both go to the same college and are from the same hometown so that’s how we met.
This last year he did pretty poorly in school and didn’t have his priorities straight (drugs, drinking etc) so he got pulled out this last semester (I’ll spare the details) kinda his parents choice since they’re paying for him. He had told me his plan this summer was to work in colorado but recently I figured out that plan had changed. He left yesterday for a wilderness kinda outdoor education program (not rehab or any kind of rough program it’s more focused strictly on learning about living in the backcountry) it’s a group program of about 14 college kids and he is gone for 2 months roughly 67 days with no phone or anything.
He told me about 4 days before he left for the first time. He says he was embarrassed and he hadn’t known for long and his parents kinda gave him not much of a choice if he wanted to continue his education at this school. First of all it made me pretty sad that he felt like he couldn’t talk to me about this and felt embarrassed instead, I try to always be there for him as he is for me and would never judge him for that. It actually sounds pretty awesome. Anyways, am I selfish for having so many concerns? I know this not about me and hopefully will be very good for him but I can’t help but have so many thoughts . What if he comes back and feels like he’s outgrown me completely? Or falls in love with sometime even? Idk I know that is selfish of me to think I guess. We are taking a break while he’s gone since there will pretty much be no opportunities for communication. Please share your thoughts I know this post was all over the place sorry maybe I’m being dramatic but it’s just weird going from talking someone almost everyday to not at all for a while
Tl;dr: boyfriend gone for 2 months no phone or way to communicate , causing stress
2 comments
Honestly, your concerns are completely valid and reasonable. Anyone whos been in a relationship knows the burden of having no communication feels.
There is one main concern of him not talking to you about it and rather being embarrassed about the situation at hand, you may want to discuss further why he feels embarrassment rather than comfort in discussing these types of situations with you.
The last issue is mostly the fact when you do go time without communication you feel a sense of insecurity which is completely justified , but in your heart and mind you should believe he will continue to love you even after the 2 months.
Always remember why you feel these concerns and find reasoning within yourself, your concerns are not selfish in the slightest, just what a worried partner would do.
Hope this helps.
just dump the boyfriend. that’s the best thing you could do for your life.