This is a long rant so sorry I’m advance. I am SO frustrated. I work from home full time watching two bio kids and soon to be two step kids once summer starts. I am extremely overwhelmed, but I make it work. I also keep a clean house, so when I’m not working or taking care of a child I clean because I don’t like doing it all at night.
I have always done almost all the housework. Just an example since we’ve been in this house for 1.5 years my husband has never put away laundry. I usually clean when my husband is at work so I have always chalked it up to that.
Tonight my husband was doing dishes and I was surprised – usually he only cleans up after himself and then watches the kids while I clean.
So I put a dish by the sink as he was finishing up cause I was clearing off the table. He stared at it with a rude look, cleaned the sink and left it there then sat down not taking the kids. So I took the kids away for a little thinking he may clean. I come back and of course it’s not (yes I should have communicated I wanted him to clean). I asked him if he just expects me to clean because I’m not a stay at home mom/wife I work just like him and help would be nice.
He responded that “You (me) just put coco melon on all day, flop on the couch, and play video games”
I am SO freaking hurt by this. I seriously work my butt off to keep a clean house while watching the kids and WORKING on top of it all. To hear him think I do nothing blows my mind. Like how the heck does the laundry get in your closet? Or why are our floors always clean? Dishes always put away? Also why have you never had to buy any toiletries or groceries??
Sorry for ranting I’m just so mad right now that he would say this. Idk what to even say to make it better. I have never been this mad.
6 comments
Go away for the weekend and leave him with the kids. He’ll change his tune. Let him know he needs to step up and do 100% of the cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning and child care for his children over the summer. You are not prepared to take on this additional responsibility.
Unfortunately he’s used to the standard you set by taking on all of the chores. You gotta set that shit up from the beginning, equal chores for both. It’s much harder trying to shift the dynamic once it’s already defined. Tell him you’re done doing certain things and that he needs to pick up the slack.
question before yall got married did yall tlk bout cleaning or establish chores or stuff like that? or did anytime yall discuss it before this got this far?
From a man’s perspective, next week just flop on the couch, put CoCo melon on, and play video games all day. See what he thinks after that!
Sounds like you need to go see your mama or girlfriends for a week. Some men need a kick in the reality pants. Give it to him.
OH HELL NO. If that were me, I would just stop doing all of his stuff and leave it for him to do. Then when he gets mad or whatever, tell him “oh, this is what happens when I DO flop on the couch with coco melon and my video games”. Then I would lay the fuck into him and tell him what a hurtful, unappreciative and asshole thing that was to say. And he can take on the FULL brunt of caring for his other kids during the summer.
When you take care of all chores from the get go, you set up that routine that is hard to change later on. You need to discuss and establish these things up front so that everyone has equal share of the household chores.