How to make my husband understand that he needs to put effort to keep our relationship alive?

Husband and I are married for 15 years. We have 2 kids. My husband and I are both working full time. We are earn almost equal. He helps me a lot in the household chores. However he thinks he does so much for me by helping. He doesn’t care to spend quality time with me. We never go on dates. I have to initiate all the plans to go out and he just there with me yawning all the time. He talks to me only when there is something about money or comparing my kids with others. He spends most of his time calling with family members. I am most of the time irritated or annoyed because of his attitude with me. In the night, he expects me to be in a good mood and have sex with him. Most days I am not in the mood for sex. He doesn’t realize or make effort to do things that make me happy. His assumption is him helping in the cleaning and cookin is sufficient to have sex with him. When I say I am not interested, he gets angry, screams like immature person and goes to sleep. I have tried talking to him several times that he needs to understand and put more effort to make me happy. I am working 16 hours doing office work, cleaning, cooking, taking care of kids. He spends less time taking care of kids. To avoid that he finds himself tasks that can keep him busy. I am tired and I need rest and do something exciting to be in the good mood. He does not care. He wants what he wants else he will throw tantrums.

What should I do? Am I wrong here saying no to what he asks?