I’m 23 and I have a very high sex drive. I masturbate probably the normal amount, I watch porn (though I like watching real couples). One thing I have never been able to do was be in a relationship because I have a very bad panic disorder and I want to stop making excuses for myself, but my body always feels like i’m dying and well — i’m scared. I’ve been made to feel so insignificant my whole life and only recently I’ve realized I’m attractive. This sounds like I’m gloating — I’m not like model attractive but I know I attract a lot of male attention, to a point where it’s uncomfortable out in public. But one thing I beat myself up about is that out of all the men who have tried to get with me, or even tried to date me, I have never given them a chance. Out of all the men I’ve liked I have always convinced myself that I don’t like them.
I’m at a point in my life where I cry after I masturbate because I feel so alone, I have a hard time hearing about people having sex cuz i’m a prude and i’m jealous. I don’t know what to do — the dating apps aren’t working but I just… I don’t know. It would be nice to hear other people’s stories or even your experiences. I feel like I’m unwanted for my age and lack of experience and it breaks me apart. I feel so worthless.
3 comments
First of all, your 23. Your age isn’t an issue at all. You’ve only been an adult for 5 years. When it comes to a lack of experience, don’t get caught up about it. It so common, now more than ever to be a virgin at your age. You may want to consider a therapist who you can work through some of these issues with.
The fact that you’re so young and you have been selective with you you’ve been intimate with is a good thing. You’ll find someone just keep looking and being open to it. Take things slow and be safe!
The fact that you tried going out with people and using dating app itself shows how committed you were in finding someone. I have been in same situation dating multiple women but still not finding the one. I realised we are in same situation and we are not at fault, not many people have commitment mentality in them and so we don’t want to waste time having sex with someone you don’t connect mentally with. Best solution would still be talking to guys and keep chatting until you think it is right time to meet.
Hang in there. It’s different for everyone but I can tell you it will get better. Don’t give up.