I’m gonna have my first actual sexual experience this thrusday or Friday, I’m nervous since im a virgin and I might end up losing my virginity, all I know about sex is from porn which I know for a fact is not accurate at all for the most part, what can I do to make sure my partner feels good aswell? I want to make our first time memorable since it’s a big deal for both of us

37 comments
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  2. Don’t worry about it, just focus on exploring each others’ bodies and enjoying yourselves. You’ll help each other understand what makes you feel good. Even if you don’t bring each other to orgasm on the first time you’ll figure it out eventually.

  3. As a younger guy, trust me when I say there is nothing to worry about. Just relax and have fun, and please please PLEASE communicate with him and make sure that if you do something that it is consensual on both ends and have a safe word involved.

    It doesn’t take much to get a guy off, but if you are really worried about it then I suggest being confident/taking initiative. Nothing is hotter (at least to me) then a partner actively wanting me and making an effort to be intimate.

  4. Stereotypically (as in, it’s very often the case) it’s very easy to please a guy. Your body knows very well how to do that, in a way that makes it almost unnecessary to worry about it.

    Be happy, bubbly, curious and enjoy the adventure. That is, in essence, what it takes for it to be fun for him.

    Are you two comfortable being around each other, so that it’s just “the next step” or do you have to get used to being naked together as well?

  5. Relax.

    Be present, welcoming, encouraging, positive, and warm.

    He will spend the entire time fighting himself not to cum because boys generally are factory loaded to blow. Especially the first time!

  6. The best way is to have fun with it and he most likely will cum from fucking you

  7. It’s very easy lol he is probably asking reddit how to not cum too fast.

  8. making a guy cum is the easiest thing in the world, don’t worry about it too much **YOU WILL MAKE HIM CUM**

  9. Just make out and relax, when you’re enjoying yourself, just let your body take over. It will tell you what to do. Go slow to begin with and check in on his face to see his reactions to the things you do. It’s better to be too gentle when touching his dick and asking if you should do it harder/faster than the other way around.

  10. To the people saying it’s easy to make a guy cum, sure, BUT have you ever thought about giving him an intense orgasm? That’s a whole different thing.

  11. If you have doubts, ask them what they like and follow it up with “because I wanna make you feel as good as I can.” You may be learning but having a starting point of what your partner likes is a huge help.

  12. First of all, ALWAYS use a condom. If he refuses, then leave the situation. Not worth getting a lifelong STD or pregnant cuz of some loser (latter part assuming you have that ability).

    Besides that, depends on what you want to do. I used sexinfo101.com for insight before I was active and it helped me a lot back then.

    Just know you can withdraw consent at ANY point and NO MEANS NO. If it feels off or you change your mind, you are absolutely allowed to put on the brakes and stop the action. It should be a positive experience for everyone involved, and preferably in a safe environment with lots of chemistry between you! Good luck!

  13. Be in the moment, and don’t let your minds race too much. Talk a lot about what’s going through your head and talk about how you feel. The primary issue young people face when getting intimate is a lack of communication.

  14. Do maximum foreplay , that’s round 1
    So he goes good incase y’all do PIV for round 2 or 3 you never know

  15. He will most likely cum with minimal effort and if he doesnt he will probably tell you what he needs in order to cum

  16. Practice practice practice. Make sure he has a condom on during any piv. It will be fooling around with things you haven’t seen before, and parts of you that nobody else has touched before. It won’t be perfect, it might not lead to orgasms, it will be awkward, but it should still be fun. Having fun together is the goal, not orgasms. Just take your time, relax, make sure things feel comfortable for both of you. Talk, laugh, smile, just be yourself. You will also be learning about your own body as well as learning about his, and it can take years to learn about your own body. Things in porn might look easy and fun, but then we become anxious when it’s time to try it, even simple things such as being naked in the light, touching our partner, letting them touch us, and knowing what to do next or ask for.

    The first time can be great, but it’s not as big a deal as you expect it will be. Sex is just an extension of an intimate relationship. It’s only good if both of you are relaxed and want each other to have fun. You can’t run a marathon first try. You can’t do the waltz on the first try. Sex is a dance, and takes rythym that only comes from practice.

    Porn makes things look easy and vigorous, and rather silent aside from fake moaning from the girl timed with his orgasm. Mainstream porn is made by guys, for guys, so it centers around their pleasure. You might not get an orgasm from piv, many women don’t. He might only last 2 minutes in piv, many men do. Porn skips over the foreplay, female orgasms, communication, and aftercare. These are very important, which is why I say take things slow. If he’s inexperienced and/or porn taught, then he might not know this stuff either. Guys bodies often don’t need much prep, if any. Girls bodies often need foreplay to warm up, something usually not shown in porn, or maybe something rushed for a minute.

    Make sure he wears a condom if there’s piv. There is nothing wrong with waiting on piv until another visit. Try not to set expectations. There is nothing wrong if only clothed kissing happens, or nude kissing, or one/both of you masturbating next to each other, or only a hj on him and/or you, or only oral on him and/or you. Make sure both of you consent to everything, and at anytime either of you can change your mind and want to stop something. The goal should be to have fun, not “go all the way” or have orgasms. The first time might be uncomfortable for you because you still don’t know exactly how to warm up for it emotionally and physically. Just go slow and have fun, the rest falls into place.

  17. Relax, have fun, don’t put pressure on each other. He’ll almost certainly cum.

    If he can’t get hard or cum, it’s probably just nerves. It doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you. So don’t judge, and be understanding and have fun.

    Sucking his cock is a great way to make him cum.

  18. Step 1: Stick the hard thing in the soft thing and add appropriate movements 👍
    Step 2 insure plenty of communication 👍
    When finished repeat multiple times 👍

  19. Start with the Amazon position with a pinky in his sphincter, before gradually moving to fisting his prostate

  20. Look, as a guy that normally finds it a little harder to orgasm on the first time with a new partner, and it happens every now and then and will come back on occasion, I can’t cum with a girl. I’ve also gone soft a couple times when I’m with someone and I’m just not able to get in to the right headspace for one of many reasons.

    I get that all these people are trying to be supportive to you, but I wanna be the one that tells you that honestly, some guys will get nervous and not be able to cum.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong, and he will only think it’s a bad thing if you are concerned about it. I put a lot of weight in making sure my partner is satisfied, and with that I spent a lot of my youth edging, and learning when I’m close to cumming, and doing my best to learn how to control it. With that, I’ve noticed that I’ll put a lot of performance pressure on myself to make sure that I’m good in bed, I last long to make her cum and that she is pleasured and enjoying it.

    I’m not gonna sit here and pretend to be Don Juan, but I do think I am reasonably asexually experienced, and the best experience and advice I can give you is that every person, sexually can be very different. It’s why I’ve personally never been a fan of one night stands as you just don’t get to truly learn what makes them tick, and what really drives them wild unless you kinda hit it on the head the first time, so to speak…

    I’m saying this as I want to help take some of the pressure off the performance of it.
    Yes – your first time is important – purely because it is your first time. Don’t worry too much about it being the most incredible experience ever, because once it becomes more frequent, or common to you, or you have tried it more – you’ll learn that your first time may have just been “eh” but it was just so much fun because it was a new experience!

    I’m in my 30s and have become a tad desensitised, and maybe it takes me a bit more to get excited than what which I have no doubt you and your partner will absolutely love. And I’m excited for the two of you!

    I am saying all of this because I just hope for you to be prepared for *IF* there is the off chance that he can’t cum, or he goes limp – it’s not you, and he’s probably fighting some thoughts or demons in his head that he’s made up because he wants you to feel good also.
    So, if it does happen – just keep cool, be supportive, acknowledge him and let him know that it’s still amazing to share this experience together, and that there’s always next time.
    This goes for both of you, by the way. It’s a looooot more likely that he will cum, and you won’t. But, the opposite does happen. And there’s nothing wrong or inherently bad about this. Especially if it’s your first time!
    Sometimes it all just falls in to place when you’ve learned your partner a bit more, and know what they like and what works for them, but it’s more about it being a safe and comfortable and intimate environment for the two of you.

    As always, be sure that you both are consenting and that it is always clear and understood. Read their body language. And just enjoy the experience.

    Best of luck! ❤️

  21. It’s your first time and you planned it? I started planning sex after 15 years of marriage. It’s the only way we could make sure to get it in. But oh boy, the best times is when it just happens cuz u can’t keep your hands off each other. Sounds like u two are making it a ceremonial event. For that, I’ma fill u in that each guy is different and needs different stimuli to cum. Some quick, some slow. The worst sex I ever had was where I was focused on ‘making’ him cum when all he was focused on was making ME feel good. Both pleasers and nobody came. My advice, stay focused on what you are feeling and the rest will come naturally. Much luck

  22. Oh honey, he’ll come. LOL I hate how hard I’m laughing at this because I remember being Where You Are and, you’ll be pretty surprised at how much you wish he would stop coming later on LOL it’s something that they actually have to work hard not to do when they’re having sex. Good luck please use protection

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