So my girlfriend(18F) and I(18M).
We’re both ready for sex, we’ve been dating for two years and have talked about it a lot and this year we’re ready to try since we’re both super excited but nervous too.
We were trying to have intercourse and it didn’t work I was able to get about an inch in but couldn’t go any further due to.
I started off with a lot of foreplay and eating her out a lot, and making sure she was comfortable and it all felt good. Then after getting the condom and lube, i went to do it but I cant seem to find the opening and she is the one that finds it and either I’m not doing something correctly or something else but I went in a little and she felt an immense pain and I stopped, 3 mins later I tried to go in again an that didn’t work either. We only have done missionary, since it’s our first time. But we’ve tried numerous times before. I thought it was my fault since I just don’t know how to position myself comfortably. She thinks it’s her fault which it’s not, she thinks that because I can’t go hardly in at all, even though I’m able to stick a finger or two in.
I’m just trying to help her, I want her to enjoy the first time even if it means me being uncomfortable or trying a different position. What can we do to help us have a good time with our first se experience? Thank you
6 comments
I had to work with vaginal dilators for a good while before I could do penetrative sex comfortably. She may be having trouble relaxing her pelvic muscles enough for something bigger than fingers. It takes a lot of patience, foreplay, and time for some women. Has she been to a gynecologist? They can help her with muscle control and make sure she’s healthy down there.
This is probably not the most PC advice, but I got drunk the first time I had sex and I imagine any sort of substance that could help her relax and feel less pain would be helpful. Has she ever given herself an orgasm? If so, whatever turns her on and helps her get wet will also help immensely. The more wet she is the less painful the penetration will be.
There are three things I can think of: let her ride you so that she has control of how fast and deep things go so she feels more comfortable and can go at her own pace. Possibly she has a fairly common condition where she is just very tight, which can be solved by a gynecologist, though that’s unlikely as you said you’ve fingered her. Lastly though this could be a trauma/anxiety response, where she has either been abused at some point in the past and has a physical reaction to penetrative sex, or has a deep seated anxiety about it that she isn’t particularly aware of leading to the same thing. No matter what, try to be as patient and supportive as you can possibly be!
Are you already experienced with each others’ bodies? It almost sounds like you’re just jumping straight to penetration without the rest of it. Which obviously isn’t going to work lol
Since it’s her first time has she used a dildo before? If not she could be one of the few who have a resilient hymen and going slow may be the problem
First times are very uncomfortable and on her end will hurt unless she’s pooped her cherry with a toy or by accident early in life