My husband used to play American football every Sunday and did a 1:1 boxing lesson in the week but in the past few months his team folded due to lack of players and he’s had to stop boxing because he works nights and couldn’t consistently make it. He’s told me this morning he’s feeling really down and lonely because he doesn’t really have friends outside these activities.
He’s about to be 30 and into sports and gaming, things like pokemon as well. He has been to a morning playing pokemon cards a few weeks ago but they’re only held once every three months or so. Any ideas on things I can encourage him to get involved in? We have 2 young kids as well and he works nights in the week so not something that will take up all the weekend if possible because it’s the only time the kids get to see him.
EDIT: So many helpful suggestions, I haven’t even heard of a few of these things before, we have a good list of things for him to try so thank you for the help!
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Golf. I’m 23 and just getting into it. You can get as good as you want to commit too and you can do it at a price point you choose. + it’s a little easier on the body so less likely to do long term damage. Oh and it’s also great fun
5-a-side is a good one, there’s places everywhere that do it, and there’s a range of abilities, some leagues, and also usually some very casual kick-abouts with friends. You can normally ring somewhere like Powerleague and say you’re looking for a game, and they’ll put you with teams that are short a player, that can be a way “in” to a group or team.
Agree 5-a-side is great fun and costs minimal; golf also fun but more expensive.
There’s also cricket – don’t laugh – great way to get exercise, meet people, and it’s fun for the partners as well, meeting the partners of the other players. You could play as well!
Badminton?Tennis? All good ways to exercise and meet people as well.
For non-sporting stuff, has he ever thought of volunteering? There is great need and the commitment doesn’t have t be huge, time-wise. There are various websites showing opps in your area. He’s meet people and be doing something useful as well.
Local cricket league, or disc golf if you have a course near you.
Your content about playing pokemon but only every few months suggests he went to a prerelease event, which is indeed every few months.
Depending on where in the country you are, though, there’s a very good chance of her being a local TCG league which run events more often than that.
There’s an event search on pokemon.com that might help you look that up if its something he might be interested in.
I’m a similar age to him and also had an American Football shaped hole in my life after I stopped.
If he wants to stay involved in AF then there are quite a few teams popping up or already established. It’s definitely worth seeing if there’s another localish team. If not, a lot of universities now have teams, so taking up coaching could be really good.
I’ve started kickboxing recently and thats really helped me find a replacement, I appreciate he works nights, so it might become more difficult, but most towns and cities have several martial arts classes, there should be one that offer a number of class times and options that may well suit his availability. Have a look into them and perhaps post on a local subreddit.
Warhammer is fun. Can get into the painting side and do it with the kids. Me and my oldest daughter really enjoy doing it together.
Start indoor climbing, very easy to get into, really fun, super social, and you get better every single time you go, and then you get to join outdoor climbing. It’s great to do individually or as a group, and always open so it available to suit what ever time you have.
very addictive and makes you fit.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu especially if he likes contact sports. Most full time academies will have morning/mi day classes, the crowd who attend tend to be in to all sorts of other hobbies and it attracts a lot of ‘nerds’ due to the problem solving aspect of the sport. It’s a really chill culture too.
Musical instruments are fantastic. Easy to learn ukulele and ideal for kids too, so you can do something together as a family.
Fender play app is fantastic.
Rugby, there’s a rise in clubs playing tough and always the vets.
OK so it’s not quite the same as American Football but the social side is the same. You could always get the kids playing and get involved that way it’ll soon drag him in.
I’ve recently started doing kayaking. I’ve only got an inflatable one, you can get a cheap one for <£100 (intex k1), really good ones for £400 (Decathlon x100), mines somewhere in between those too.
I don’t do any crazy white water stuff even if my kayak was deemed suitable for it. All I’ve done so far is gentle paddles up and down some local canals but thinking about trying some rivers soon and even eyeing up going to the Lake District for a few days.
If it’s something he enjoys then you can get ones that seat 2 or 3 people meaning that you and the kids can go along too if you’d enjoy it. You can do it solo but plenty of people out there that he could arrange to meet and make friends with. There’s also stand-up paddleboarding as a similar hobby.
If it sounds interesting to him, check to see if there’s anywhere local to you where he can paddle. Could always find a watersports place that hires them out for him to try out to see if he likes it, before spending lots of money on equipment.
Airsoft?
Warhammer 40k. Although you may need to remortgage.
Warhammer
Radio Control Cars.
I bought (my first) one over lockdown after realising I was an adult with my own money and I could just buy the RC car I lusted after as a kid that my parent always said was too expensive ([Tamiya Grasshopper](https://i.redd.it/h4cs0sm01mm51.jpg)).
Theres plenty of building/tinkering involved which will keep him occupied, but also in the house around the kids. Also, kids love them, [I bought a couple specifically for the kids to crash.](https://preview.redd.it/x48ycmod0pf61.jpg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=66cef0ff330bca46191885a2eaa050e82f54b2d1)
There’s generally a club locally to race them, or just take the kids and the dog for a walk with them.
Has he thought about trying DnD? If you’ve got a local game shop he could ask about groups there, or alternatively if you can’t find anyone local then it’s also possible to play online over webcam. There are plenty of facebook groups and discord servers about how to find groups.
Wouldn’t the obvious suggestion be find a local Rugby team?
Golf. He’ll love it, and hate it at the same time.
Climbing or BJJ, both are hard work, fun, social, thoughtful and skilful. Great fun.
Definitely BJJ, classes aren’t necessarily restricted to evenings and weekends and it’s really fun 🙂
I don’t know how he or your kids will like it but for me nothing is better then hiking I love nature it clears my head calms me down it’s the perfect activity to get your kids involved and you yourself as a family day out somewhere it’s good exercise too
I love to fish (flyfish). It’s very peaceful for me and I night I have a whole different hobby (tying flies)
TGC Live is coming out of Beta, I’m ready!!
Also Golf maybe? I used to go before my night shift.
Bouldering and yoga. They go hand in hand and are both quite social (climbing moreso)
Archery is great fun, and if there is a field archery group near you it’s great craic! Something the kids can get into too.
Paddle boarding season is now on – it’s great fun and exercise if you live near a suitable place. There are also local groups near me aimed at 20-30s to meet and do it, although I haven’t tried them myself.
Golf – can fill a good 4 or 5 hours on a weekend. Get out in the sun and get a nice walk in.
Can be frustrating as hell, but it’s so satisfying when it goes right.
If he like Pokemon card games then there are loads of other tabletop games he can get into; Warhammer, Dungeons & Dragons, and board games. You can check out local stores to see what happening or check out meetup for local board game events.
I joined a board game group in Worcester about 10 years ago, and I’ve made loads of friends to the point where the gamers are the ones that have become some of my closest friends.
Dungeons and dragons
Warhammer
Amateur dramatics
Mens choir
Metal detecting
Airsoft/Paintball are great fun! Good exercise, and there are some good kid friendly places too!
The crowds are typically very welcoming too, so it’s good for beginners.
CrossFit! Most CrossFit gyms will have an opening time that will suit a shift worker, he’ll get the fitness and community that he’s lost from no longer doing American Football or boxing. Weekend classes are child friendly and if he gets good enough a few competitions on the weekend a year should fit around the kids and also inspire them
Boardgames
Recently took up cycling, its not particularly sociable but most people are friendly. Great exercise, fun to tinker with the bike, get your kids out too. If he gets into it there are always cycling clubs that will host weekly rides races etc.
I made loads of really good friends through getting into cycling. Keeps me fit, meet new people still through events and get to explore some amazing places I’d never even thought of visiting before.
I’m in my 30s and into the same things as your husband. Sports, gaming and used to really enjoy Pokémon. My other hobby is carp fishing. It’s ridiculously relaxing being by a lake, taking in all the surroundings and the nature. It’s tactical as well and when I go for a night I take a handheld gaming console to play. It can be social or solitary and completely resets my mind from the mon-fri of life. It’s like having your own little slice of nature putting on a show all for you whilst you’re there.
Parkrun.
It’s free, it’s short and it’s the same distance and at the same time every Saturday. You can run with kids and there’s also a junior Parkrun too.
In 5k you have a goal to aim for and as it’s organised, you get a time, so every time you return you can try and beat it if you’re competitive. There’s hundreds of courses up and down the country that are all different too so can be a tourist.
Running and exercise is well documented as a mental health booster too.
It is a gateway hobby though but the sky is the limit to how serious you want to be. I started with a 38 minute Parkrun about 7 years ago and I did a 100 miler last year for context!
Mountain Biking
Shame he works nights I would have suggested he volunteers for scouting as a leader for either cubs, scouts or explorer they are crying out for leaders
Motorcycles and or bicycles.. both can get you to work have hundreds of different types / style and can be done by yourself as well as with others
Mountain biking? Not sure where you are based but there are loads of really good trail centers in the UK for biking.
Your husband needs to work this out for himself, you’ll just torment yourself trying to get him to do things and if he doesn’t have the motivation there’s not a lot you can do.
I work nights too, I’d say tell him to schedule his boxing either late in the evening or, like I do, first thing in the morning straight after work, he might find his 1 to 1 boxing coach does discounts for the early bird sessions as these are usually harder slots to fill, I’d also do a bit of research for him about other sports teams which are within traveling distance of your home.
Tread carefully though as you can take a horse to water but can’t make it drink.
Is it bad that none of these suggestions appeal to me? I can’t find anything I enjoy.
Guitar?
Archery!
What’a cooler than preparing for the zombie apolcolypse whilst pretending to be Robin Hood.
Plus it’s really sociable and good fun. But mostly the zombies and Robin Hood stuff.