I want advice or similar experiences to help.
So I’ve had a recent messy breakup. She initiated, but I already had asked for a break beforehand. We ended good at first, she was surprisingly sweet and told me we could still be friends.
We haven’t talked much, but today, she texts me, accusing me of cheating on her.
She also called me manipulative, gaslighter, abusive, etc.
She did this often in the relationship too, and I even went to the school counsellor, in case she was right and I just couldn’t see it. The counsellor told me that she’s a narcissist, and to leave. My dad says that she’s a narcissist too.
Funny enough, all my family and friends also urged me to leave.
I really never cheated on her, hand on my heart. But after constantly calling me all these things, I’m almost starting to believe it. She loves calling me a cheater, and playboy despite me telling her I hated it.
Anyways, what really worries me is that she is threatening to expose me. She says she has proof, and that she’s going to ruin my reputation, and that she ‘can’t wait.’
“Karma’s a b\*\*ch, don’t f\*\*k with me, I find out everything, mark my words, i have proof from other people as well, all the girls will side with me when I’ve told my side of the story.”
I’m in uni, same class as her, and I was just blown away. I have no idea what ‘proof’ she’s talking about.
I’m very well liked in class, and I seriously never even flirted with another girl during our relationship. I’ve had close female friends/classmates, but I always make it clear we’re just friends.
I’m afraid she’s going to do everything she can to ruin me, and I don’t know what to do. It’s going to ruin my school life if she succeeds and turns everyone against me. I’ve already tried talking to her to prove my innocence and de-esculate everything. “Drop the act,” she says.
It just feels horrible to be called all these things. It’s really screwing with my mental health.
This just happened, so it would help if anyone has experienced something similar could share stories, or advice.
Ask me anything if it helps.
TLDR: Ex is telling me she’s going to ruin my reputation for being a cheater, even though I’ve never cheated on her.
5 comments
Block her. Stop engaging with her altogether. I bet people know what she’s like and don’t believe her.
I’m glad you’re out of that toxic relationship.
If you didn’t do anything all she’s got is delusions to spread around.
Best thing you can do is not talk to her block her on everything. Don’t get sucked in. She’s can talk all the shit she wants about you, you know it’s not true, the people close to you are not gonna believe her, anyone else who gets off on gossip they don’t matter. It’s not gonna ruin any reputation, rumours like this will fade into nothingness in no time.
Just walk away, live your life and leave her to her own spiralling.
I just want to address the way she’s making you feel about yourself.
I was completely loyal to my ex, not guilty of so much as a secret glance at another woman. My ex accused me of cheating/planning to cheat/lying/wandering eyes so many times, and so insistently, that I began seeing myself as unfaithful. I didn’t have any urges to cheat, but I stopped viewing myself as a man of integrity and started to believe I was failing, that I was scum, that I was not to be trusted. Her baseless accusations had me questioning whether I was trustworthy or if I were truly that of which she accused me.
So just realize that your ex is creating a fiction and trying to make it your problem. If everyone were on her side, she wouldn’t have to threaten that. If the truth were so blatant and obvious, she wouldn’t have to allude to it. She’s manipulating you because she craves power over you.
Block her. Ignore her. She’s keeping up this charade so long as it keeps you in fear of her. She’s so far gone that she is losing her sh!t over the fact that you’re no longer under her thumb.
Been there. Done that. Nothing is more valuable than the peace that follows cutting out such a toxic individual from your life.
I would go to whoever you need to at the school and tell them she’s threatening you with all evidence that you have. Most schools have a code of conduct.
If it’s worth it to you I might even talk to a lawyer a defamation case or a cease and desist order.
If you are going to talk to anyone who might help you keep all texts, don’t reply. Let her yell into the void.
Most likely she wants to goad you into an argument. Don’t let it happen.
The only person that you can control is you. I don’t doubt she is a narcissist and they will do what she wants to. If she wants to talk shit, she will. The people that know you will know this is non-sense.
The best thing you can do is ignore her and block the shit out of her on social media. In the future, when numerous people tell you someone is bad for you, believe it. Use her behaviour as a template of what not to look for in a partner. The red flags were there, you ignored them.