So we have been together 8 months and i basically live at his place. But the last months we haven’t really had sex. I want to, and i am kinda hinting to him that i want to have sex but he does not seem interested. The first months we got together we had sex very often. But now we have sex maybe 2-3 times a month. I dont know what to do. Everytime that i am away for a weekend and come back i see alot of used toilet paper that i know he uses to jerk off. And I suspect he is jerking off in the bathroom when i am here. In generally, everytime i am away and he is alone he takes the chance to jerk off, but is always too tired to have sex with me or isn’t in the mood.
10 comments
You shouldn’t beg for it. Just ask him about what is going on. Maybe he prefers masturbation, the more uncomfortable option is if he let go of the love for you. It’s selfish
A healthy sex life needs communication, sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel and why it’s hurting you. Might seem awkward but it will get to the point, sometimes us guys need it spelt out to us
You’re gonna need to talk to him about it. Hinting is not going to cut it. And when I say it, I’m talking about the lack of sex and your sex lives in general. His masturbation habits may or may not be the reason but you shouldn’t focus on that in your convo. The signs don’t seem positive but unless you want to just walk away, the conversation needs to happen.
Whether it low libido, low attraction, or too much porn/masturbation you need to get his take on it. After you have the conversation, however, I wouldn’t wait too long if I were you. If it’s not something that can be improved quickly, then you’re likely just not sexually compatible and you should save yourself the headache and constant feelings of rejection.
>I dont know what to do.
You talk to him like an adult. Communication is incredibly important in a relationship.
>I want to, and i am kinda hinting to him that i want to have sex but he does not seem interested.
This really depends on what you mean by “hinting” but why don’t you initiate instead? He doesn’t always have to be the one to make the first obvious move.
It’s pretty early for the sex to drop that much so I think you should talk to him. Maybe he’s stressed about work or something.
Have you ever initiated? Hinting is not necessarily what all guys want, it can be tiresome to always have to be the one initiating.
I would try showing him that you want him, like in a way there is no doubt. Start kissing and take his clothes off. If he rejects you, go catch a glass of water and take a breath, then start a conversation and asking questions in a calmly matter.
> i am kinda hinting to him that i want to have sex but he does not seem interested
Be affectionate and just ask. A lot of times guys do not pick up hints.
I don’t know the whole story here, but you two are YOUNG – so he would likely be at his horniest.
That being said, what I’ve learned is, young guys who watch a lot of porn usually see plenty of things that are just not realistic, but their brains become wired to think they are.
That messes up real sex for whatever reason, the guys he sees are huge, blow huge loads, pound nonstop like jackhammers, or girls squirting buckets of what he believes is cum, etc.
That is pure fantasy, but young guys today are getting their actual sex lives messed up from it.
You may want to see if he has a porn addiction, which would explain why he escapes to fantasy over his (much better) reality.
Just my two cents. I wish you both luck.
> I want to, and i am kinda hinting to him that i want to have sex but he does not seem interested.
Don’t hint. If you want sex, initiate sex. If he turns you down on a repeated basis, then it’s an issue.
Most men can’t take hints. Do what my wife did and just ask him. I didn’t realized that my wife wanted it since for some time she had low libido and I wanted to respect her so she just asked me one day and after sitting down to talk about it, we now communicate to the other.
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