I’m the youngest of 5, the lone GenX at the end of a train of Boomers. My dad left my mom while she was pregnant with me.. My oldest brother is who taught me how to drive, how to ride a bike, how to build models and is basically tied to a lot the little things that make me who I became. Mom passed away while I was in the Army at 19.
I lost my middle older brother about 5 years back to pancreatic cancer. My eldest brother just got diagnosed with stage 3 non-Hodgkin’s. If he doesn’t respond to treatment, he won’t live out the year. While talking to my sister last night, she let me know the youngest of our three older brothers is recovering from cancer as well. (She’s the only one he maintains contact with).
I’m a grown man with a home, adult kids, a home and a career, but when I’m around and/or talking to them, I’m “the kid brother”. These guys were my heroes, my role models and the people I went to if I needed real advice on real shit.
How am I supposed to deal with them not being there anymore?
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Selfishly hope he is the one that has to deal with it and not me. We live in different cities and only see each other every couple of years, but we text. That bit of distance will make it easier, I think, but it will still be tough.
I only have the one brother and we’re in our 30s. But I lost a lot of friends who I was much closer with when I was in my 20s.
You try to think of the fun you had together, hang out with mutual friends to reminisce. Alcohol helps, but not the best of ideas.
The anger and sadness never truely goes away, but it eases with time.
My sister can fucking burn in hell for all I care lmao.
I am so sorry. May I please kindly suggest you get cancer screenings? You may be the kid brother, but we need you here for a long long time.
I lost my father-in-law (who was like my father, who wasn’t around) around the same time as my closest brother. My doc pointed me to a men’s grief therapy group. Most of the men were older widowers, but still… I stayed in it, meeting weekly, for about 6 months.
It was easy for me I hated my brother.
Sorry for your loss
The Bible tells us we should adopt their children and marry their wives
Same way you deal with everything else, dude. Time passes.
It helps to honors other people’s memories by being the best version of whatever they were to you. You had a mentor so be a mentor. You had a role model so be a role model.
Doing that helps you appreciate what your mentors and role models were to you. They did their mentoring and role modeling in the middle of life, while (I’m sure) they had struggles of their own. And discovering how that feels can help you understand how valuable the gift of their time and attention was.
Havent lost a sibling, but many family members. My best advice would be dont rush the healing process. Grief over it as much as you want, dont hold back. However always end a grieving session with gratitude and something positive. Like maybe you’ll smell a cloth and the scent reminds you of him. Your heart will burn and your eyes will swell with tears. Cry, as much as you want untill you cant cry anymore. Then follow it up with something like “you must be laughing at me from up there. Pretty sure you’re going to say to stop acting like a little girl. Well alright i’ll get my ass up you bastard” then smile and continue your day. Maybe someone asks you how you’re feeling and suddenly your eyes tear up. Dont act tough be gentle on yourself. Be like “its harder than i thought but i’m managing. He’s a heartbreaker i’ll tell you that! Still the annoying brat that i always known.” And give it a laugh. Time will heal and eventually you’ll find yourself filled with nothing but of his good memories. I’m sorry for your loss, i hope the upcoming days prove to be blissful.
Same as every other human does. You go though the stages of grieving until you hit acceptance.
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s never easy losing a sibling, no matter our age. Grief is a process that affects everyone differently, so what works for one person may not work for another. Some people find solace in spending time with family and friends, while others prefer to be alone. Consider seeking therapy or support groups to help you cope. Remember to take care of yourself and allow yourself time to heal.
I’m sorry for your loss. Coping with the death of a loved one is never easy, but it’s important to remember that everyone deals with grief differently. Some find solace in talking to family and friends, while others prefer to process their emotions alone. If you’re struggling, consider seeking support from a grief counselor or support group. Additionally, finding healthy outlets for your emotions, such as exercise or creative pursuits, can also be helpful. Remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time.