I’ve confronted my husband a handful of times within the past year about how I would like to receive oral more often. This man has not gone down on me in almost a year. He finally told me why.
1) There’s a mole near my vagina that’s smaller than a dime. He says it freaks him out and asked me if I’d be willing to get it removed. I told him no.
2) He said sometimes I smell down there. He said it might be a soap I have used but he made it clear it bothers him…(this is the first man to ever tell me that. I have a very colorful sexual past and I would have never expected it be my own husband to be the first person to tell me this.) I shower daily and I wash myself at minimum 2-3 times down there every day. I am overly cautious about my area and my scent. I do consider myself a person with good hygiene.
3) I am not completely shaved. My husband prefers no hair at all while I prefer a nice little bush up top.
Honestly, I’m slightly irritated it took him so long to say something. Especially since I’ve been asking for oral for months now. I expected a little more transparency from my husband..we’ve been together for over 10 years.
14 comments
Do you perform oral for him?
It may have taken him longer than you wanted for him to tell you, but he did. You have his answers now and you seem pretty dismissive of all of them. The question is though, now that you know, if you don’t want to try to address any of them, where does that leave you?
I’m not making a moral judgement on the right/wrong of any your husbands statements. But those were the answers he gave and they exist regardless of what I personally think of them.
Turn he lights out, take a shower and shave. Problem solved.
First off, know that nothing is wrong with you or how you look and smell down there. You are 💯 normal. It is kind of disappointing to hear what he said, but we are all different, if it’s possible can you guys meet halfway?
I know what he said might cause you to become insecure when he goes down on you. But just know that there is nothing for you to be insecure about, i think this just requires some kinda of compromise if possible where both of you are happy
I’m sorry. As a husband this post was hard to read. This is asshole behavior and it sounds like he’s AOK receiving but doesn’t want to reciprocate. Shitty. Secondly, my wife has had numerous moles and precancerous spots removed and one near her labia was the worst and hardest to heal from, she did it only because it had changed shape and color and even her derm was cautious in removing due to location. This sounds like an excuse for your husband and not a real need. Think before excising it. As far as scent, the thing is I am crazy attracted to my wife’s natural scent. She can work out hard for an hour and all it does is improve her scent and taste to me. Showering multiple times a day seems excessive and that again, he’s throwing excuses to avoid something you want. As far as your personal pubic hair choices, they are just that, yours. My wife stays trimmed or shaved but if she went full bush I’d be just as happy to burrow in her ginger nest. I read your post three times before replying. My question is, what else is he hiding if he’s kept silent on this for a decade?
The smell could very well be vaginosis… Doesn’t matter about hygiene, as many women get it… it’s the leading cause of the “fishy” smell that happens down there .
Many men, however, don’t think twice about it, especially if the smell isn’t too overwhelming….
Way to use the P card to ensure that your husband looks like shit.
He doesn’t like doing it. Pretty obvious
Why did it take so long for him to tell you this is more of the thing it seems you’re looking for
Look at your relationship and see how you may have reacted in the past of him being honest/truthful with you that you may have been defensive or took offense to and possibly had him feeling like he may not be able to be honest or have tough conversations with you because he’s afraid of how you react?
In a marriage people have to feel safe or not feel like they have to walk around eggshells even with the “tough” convos
I’m confused. You’ve been with him for 10 years but only started bringing up oral now? Hopefully it’s just now become something you’re interested in and not something you were judt sitting on for years. I can kinda understand where he’s coming from and also see how this sounds like a bunch of convenient excuses.
Being completely shaved does make things waaaaaay easier. I don’t require it but I would be lying if I said that pubic hair didn’t wreak havoc on my tongue and face sometimes. Imagine licking someone’s beard or rubbing you face against it for like 20-45 minutes. I personally don’t care because I like going down on my wife more than I dislike that discomfort but it sounds like your husband may not be a huge fan of oral so it may be helpful to consider shaving what hair you may have to see if that changes anything. Also it may be a good idea to ask him to help you shave or just straight up shave you. I do it for my wife sometimes and it’s usually a sure-fire way to get everyone turned on. It’s a bonding thing, an act of service, and a sorta-sexual-but-sorta-teasing thing all rolled into one. It would give him a chance to get used to being near your mole which could help alleviate some of his discomfort with that.
Are you sure he even likes pussy? Sounds like he has an aversion to it.
No means no.
Imagine if a man posted this. He’d be torn to pieces by the commenters. lol. Where are you at, “let him use his hand” crowd? Let’s see you flex that gender objectivity! 😂 You’re all hopeless.
He just doesn’t like eating pussy. For some reason lots of guys are like that. Lying about it for a year and then making you think you have an odor problem just so he can avoid being honest about it would be a deal breaker for me. I’d be getting a divorce if my partner of 10 years would rather make me feel like shit than admit they don’t like pleasuring me for their own selfish reasons. A mole is making it so he can’t go down on you? Give me a break. My girlfriend gets self conscious about smell after she has been working out and I don’t care at all because I love making her feel good. Plus she tastes amazing. Neither of his excuses are valid. Move on to a guy who wants to bury his face in your crotch any chance he gets or at least one who doesn’t make up lies about your vagina stinking.