So as the title suggests my girlfriend recently told me that she feels like she doesnt bring a lot to the table in sex and is more like a “Glorified fuck doll”. I tried telling her to maybe read some porn (she’s very against the whole porn industry because of exploitation and stuff but books is ok) and try out some of the stuff that she find hot in that.
She does often take a more passive role in sex and on the few times that she has been more active she cums quicker so I know she’ll like it. The problem is really that she took what i said to mean that she doesnt do enough and needs to learn how to have sex which isnt what i meant at all.
I need advice on how to encourage my girl to tell me what she wants and to be more active in bed for her sake more than mine.
6 comments
Get something like a sex guide for couples and *read through it together*. Don’t make it homework. Make it part of your play.
My first recommendation is try finding some written erotica that turns you on that you think she will also enjoy and read it out loud to her. Literotica has some great stuff and has been around a long time. Look her in the eye and tell her what feels good, how it feels good, why it feels good to you, and ask her to share something with you after. Bounce ideas off her get her to share her thoughts and feelings. Listen to her and importantly respect her. Sounds like you really care about her and her feelings that is awesome.
I mean she could just try riding/being in control more. Glorified fuckdoll is such a diss to you man. You need to involve her more.
My intro to riding was my partner grabbing my hips whilst I was on top of him and moving me up and down. That really helped me learn what to do. Similarly, when I gave my very first hand job the dude put his hand over mine and showed me the right speed, pressure and motion to use. Using physical guidance like this can be way more instructional than using words and can be a good way to get around performance anxiety
Talk about this first. Try giving her oral sex until she has multiple orgasms or a mind blowing orgasm. Then let her give you oral sex until you cum. That way you each have an active role and a more passive role.
She’s reading the wrong books