I (22NB) have been talking to the guy (21M) for a while, and he has a diaper kink. Just wearing them around all day, I don’t believe he actually uses them for waste. He has mentioned that he tends to get a lot of precum, and likes to let the pull-ups he wears soak it up.
I just… don’t find it appealing. I tried to keep an open mind at first, but every time he sends a pic or video of him wearing the diapers I have a really hard time getting turned on. I told him in the beginning that I wasn’t going to kink shame, and that if he liked it, more power to him; so I really don’t want to come across as rude or like I’m kink shaming.
I have a hard time being tactful sometimes, so I would love some advice on how to deal with it.
TL;DR: This guy I’ve been talking to has a kink for wearing diapers to absorb his precum, and I can’t get turned on when he sends me pictures or videos involving them. I want to figure out how to tell him it’s a turn off, but I don’t want to kink shame.
14 comments
That’s a tough one. Obviously you can’t force yourself to like something. You should tell him that you are having trouble with it and ask him to not be pushy with it (sending pictures etc. so often) and to give you time to try getting used to it more slowly. In the meantime, you guys should each (separately, or together) try to think of ways that you two can indulge his fetish in a satisfactory way without making you uncomfortable.
It sounds like he mostly just likes wearing them for himself, does he actually want you to be involved in it somehow?
in my experience, men (there are women also but i have never known any personally) who were in to diapers it is usually a fetish for them not a kink. meaning they are hardcore in to it and it’s something they can’t live without. that’s not true with everyone who enjoys diapers sexually, but most. you would have to talk to him about it in depth and see how deep it is for him and then decide for yourself if it’s something that you could be comfortable with
Honestly, if you’re going to break things off with him, you don’t need to make it about the kink anyway.
Although if he’s sending unsolicited pictures and video, that’s something he should be told to stop.
saying something to the effect of ‘it’s totally fine that this is your thing but it’s absolutely not for me’ is not kink shaming
It’s fine to break up with someone over this
You’d have to have the conversation. Depends on what they mean to him I guess. It’s not impossible to have a relationship like that, I was recently at Capcon, it’s the largest gathering of fetishists and kinks around age play in diapers in the world. I met a lot of people there, including those whose partners were not part of that world at all.
But before things get serious, finding common ground there is important. Depending on where you two are at with things, it could be a deal breaker and I think it’s important to keep that possibility in mind during the conversation. If for no other reason then to make sure things aren’t left unsaid.
I think you would be worthwhile to discuss what they actually mean to him, and for you to know what turns you off about them. So that you can address each other’s concerns directly.
Its no different to any other kink. Say you appreciate him sharing that with you, but its just not your thing. Nothing wrong with that
So he’s texting u a pics of him in pampers? Nah that’s crazy break up with him rn
He doesn’t use them for waste …yet !
Are you sure he needs you to be actively turned on by it? Maybe you can ask if he needs to send you pictures and know that you’re into it, or whether it’s ok if you just don’t participate?
His kink doesn’t have to be your kink. And that’s ok. Then the decision needs to be made if you (he) can live without that kink. Of the answer is no, then you have your solution.
I’m betting his answer is no.
Kink shaming is putting someone down for their sexual desires.
But that doesn’t mean you are into every sexual desire.
I dont care if others want to do bondage. But I will never do it. Period.
Just tell him you two are not compatible and move on
When you say “talking” do you mean just online? Or have you dated in person?
Just be friends (or not) and take sex and romance off the table. Why do you have to tell him his kink is a turn off? Exit stage right.
If he is just using them to absorb leaks, absorbent underwear is a thing. I assume there are other brands doing it, but Modibodi have a really good range for all bodies and needs.
I wear mine every day because I’m quite a, uh, moist lady, and they’re indistinguishable from regular underwear.