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I’m going Switzerland here, I have no dog in the fight and don’t really care who comes out on top since the only thing I want on edibles is butter.
I will dip every one of my bullets in jam so the jelly heathens finally experience bliss millisecond before they buy the farm.
Jelly.
I guess preserves because that’s what my mother in law sends by the boxfull regardless of how many fucking jars we already have on the shelves. When the soldiers come asking what side we’re on I won’t be able to deny it.
Jam Uber Alles
Us marmaladers have no dog in this fight but are hated by everyone. Sigh.
Give me jam or give me death.
I’m on Team Jam, but happy to form an alliance with Team Jelly to take down those Preserve sickos. Who wants to take a bite of a whole mushy strawberry? NOT IN MY AMERICA!
i’m going with my preserve people. i like stuff chunky. and moist. ^^🤢🤣
Butter is the real MVP.
Team Jam. Small enough bits to still spread easily, but has some real fruit texture, unlike jelly.
Autarky, if I’m eating fruit then its either the whole fruit, juice from the fruit, or booze made from the fruit. Anybody who steps on my property with their jelly vs jam bullshit shit is going to have someone else raise their children.
As someone who’s not a fan of either, I guess I’ll be a neutral party.
Jam is the only right answer
My seeded raspberry jam will make pretenders in this war weep.
Jam if it’s strawberry and jelly if it’s grape
Jam
Gove me Jam, or give me death.
My goal would be to unite all three into a mighty empire, it’ll be greater than the Roman empire, I just need to come up with a flag🤔
I’m going to have to work towards an alliance of jam and preserves against jelly. Marmalade can be our special forces.
A good jam fucking rocks. I’m joining that side.
You already know:
https://youtu.be/g_BeHElKX-o
My preference is towards cum. Is that considered a jelly?
Jam. Preserves is for old people and only psychopaths and the British prefer jelly
We be jammin.
Die, grape jelly heathen!
I’m going to preserve the union for sure.
Jam
I guess I’m becoming a triple agent in this conflict because I like them all lmao. I will accept my secret spy payments in Cracker Barrel biscuits.
Preserves for sure!
What about those who have literally zero preference. Can i just sit on the sidelines and provide arms?
Look, I’m going to be fighting for team Jam, but I’m also going to weed out my own lines for any margarine followers. The new era of breakfasts have no place for them.
I’m gonna do a Benjamin Martin, and support all sides. Jelly spreads easier, Jam taste better and Preserves are more filling and multipurpose.
Jam
I will die on jam hill if I have to. Jelly will be my first victim.
None.
I will pledge allegiance to jelly, but it will all be a farce. A farce, I say!
I will work to create an underground resistance in the name of peanut butter, and when The Great Preserve War has ended, the Peanut Butter Battallions will rise up and seize control.
My allegiance is to the Jam Republic, to democracy!