Sometimes a friend will say or post something that’s provocative and I’ll engage. If it’s something I disagree with, and I have a thorough understanding of it, I have a habit of debating and really trying to ‘win’ the conversation. I find it fun to engage in this type of dialogue/debate. I try to be factual, use sources, and not use fallacies. Understandably, the person I’m talking to gets tired and gives up. To be clear, I’m never mean or unfriendly. And I don’t try to be a know it all.
I don’t understand that though. If you didn’t want to engage in a conversation about it, why did you bring up the topic? Why post about it?
Regardless, I enjoy the conversation. And I feel terrible that the other person didn’t. I don’t mean to ‘win’ the conversation but I’m also not going to just give up, especially if what the other person is saying is just flat out incorrect and I can prove it.
2 comments
According to me it could mean a multiple things.
1. Maybe the person just wants to let people know about his opinions and not actually debate them. Many people either don’t like to be contradicted or consider the act of debating to be tiring or preety much arguing.
2. Maybe you are a bit mean or forceful and don’t realise that.
3. Maybe you constantly contradicting that person is what’s tiring him from talking with you cuz you keep contradicting him anyways.
Not everyone is into debating and talking about serious stuff all the time. Many people just want to be heard. You don’t have to force a conversation out of it all the time. Sometimes just letting things be is the right thing to do imo.
As for how to stop this habit. I would say just try to be more accepting of people’s opinions. Learn to let things go. While your friend may be factually wrong there is no point in arguing with him if he refuses to listen.
I learned to hold back my first thoughts and opt to internalize what the other person was communicating, it’s been hard but I’ve gained new perspectives on things I thought i knew.