I Need advice on what I should do.

3 comments

1. Give it a try. The experience gained might serve you down the road.

   First time sex usually is much more scary and frustrating than any time after it and if you meet someone who wants to have a real relationship with you in idk, a couple of months, you won’t have to go through the process of explaining you have no idea what you’re doing in terms of sexual experience.

   People might disagree with me here, but honestly, it’s good to begin learning and really, it’s a nice thing to do

2. If you want to have sex for the first time and get it over with, yes go for it. If you want it to “feel special” then no, wait until you’re more serious.

3. If you have to ask . . . . you probably shouldn’t do it.

   OK, my personal values do not, and have never, been in favor of casual sex. What you describe isn’t merely casual, it’s almost anonymous! As I said, I don’t have experience with this kind of encounter but I imagine that – at best – you’d use her genitals as a masturbation aid. (Perhaps she’d be doing the same thing with yours.) At worst, you risk being embarrassed, humiliated, rejected, or berated by her over a disappointing performance – an emotional scar that could take a while to heal. (It has been said that people are very “emotionally naked” in the moments after first-time sex.)

   If you decide to go through with it, please let her know that you’re a virgin. And do it well before the clothes start coming off at 1:00 AM in somebody’s apartment or dorm room.

   If you decide that you can live with the consequences of casual sex, at least find somebody who is an established acquaintance. A good friend is even better. I won’t even say that you should love her, though I personally believe sex is something that should be shared between committed life-partners.

   Look in the mirror and ask yourself WHY you’ve never had a girlfriend. (By the way – how old are you?) For me at age 22, I knew that my quiet, shy, introverted personality was a significant factor. Is there anything you can do about your shortcomings, without compromising your integrity and self image – even as simple as a different wardrobe? Is there anything SOMEBODY ELSE can do to help you? For me, it was a much older, and much wiser, family friend who coerced a tearful confession from me, and responded with “I have a niece . . . .”. That niece was quite eager to exchange virginity with me, taking mine and giving me hers, on our wedding night.