Whenever I enter a room at my college, I find myself quickly scanning for people I know, then for people who look interesting. When no one known is found, I tend to keep to myself and find my own corner. But I would like to break this habit and approach people more and be more approachable myself.
So, say I walk into class in the middle of the semester. My normal table-buddy is absent, but there’s a seat free next to someone who looks neat. I don’t want to date them or anything like that, just casually start conversation. But I don’t know of anything we have in common… Is it appropriate to walk up to them and start talking? What should I say?
And what if it’s the same situation, but in a cafeteria?
I feel like there are obvious answers, but I could definitely use tips. I feel like some people are able to just start talking to people, but I almost always have to talk to people on social media before I can approach them in person.
1 comment
People always have more courage behind a screen. You are not alone. That being said, one thing to consider is that there are others like you who do want to interact in person and form relationships but are also struggling to make the first move.
If I were you I would just walk up to them and ask, do you mind me sitting here? Sometimes, will be able to tell by how they answer that simple question if they are open to chat more. For example if they seem enthusiastic and inviting that they are as excited as you are and your next question could be your get-to-know you opener of some sort. If, however, they still seem closed, do not give up! You can say thanks and then try again, asking a question on common ground, like about the class. ‘How are you finding Econ 101?’ Etc. Some people open up more once they see you are just being friendly. Others may not. Others may want to be left alone. So look out for signs of that as well and respect their decision if they do. Even if you get rejected you are being successful because you are practicing and working up the courage to do it again.