i was joking around with my dad and my sibling earlier. my sibling said their finger hurt and i lightly joked “i can kick you in the shin to distract you from the pain” and mt dad immediately chimed in “you couldn’t kick me that hard” and my sibling immediately added “i could hit you harder.” for slight context, im trans and afab and currently not on hormones.
i don’t know if it’s just me, but i sort of felt like i was being made fun of or ridiculed. it felt like they were both implying that they were strong and i was weak. i do a lot of lifting and strenuous activity at my work and i’ve built up a lot of healthy strength and endurance over the years. neither my dad nor my sibling work out. i told my sibling how i felt and they just wrote me off like i was blowing the situation out of proportion, and they didn’t mean it in that way and tried to remedy it by saying i was strong.
the funny thing is, a couple of weeks ago, my dad was joking around similarly with my sibling, and when my sibling said they didn’t like the joke, my dad said exactly what my brother said: “i didn’t mean it in that way, it’s just a joke, i don’t want to tiptoe around my words, etc.” so now i also feel like maybe my dad and my sibling only care about what people say to them, and not what they say to other people.
i’ve had similar conversations with my mom and she’s always listened and understood. i’ve never been able to get this sort of point across to my dad or sibling. i’m just trying to figure out if i’m making big deals out of nothing. i don’t want to be seen as a buzzkill to anyone, but i also don’t want to be joked about in a degrading manner, and then get told to ignore it.
TL;DR: my sibling made a, imho, slightly degrading joke and didn’t care how i felt about it. am i reading too much into a joke?
1 comment
Hello. Siblings can push your buttons if no one else can. Personally, I would go to my sister and repeat the conversation and ask for her opinion and she would do the same for me. Just take it lightly. Don’t read too much into it. Now if it comes to where you all are throwing fist, then it’s a problem.
Always remember, Mom and Dad are two totally different people. Moms are nurturing, most Dads are not unless they have been through some serious issues while growing up and can relate.
If you have started the process of transitioning meaning your look with haircut and dressing, they see you as one of them. So with buys and dads, things are not as emotional as they would be with girls. This is my opinion. I hope it helps and good luck on your transition.