My marriage has become exhausting.

My husband and I have been married since 2017 and we have children. He has attempted to cheat on me multiple times. Who knows how far he’s actually gotten for the times I haven’t caught him. At this point I know the signs and when it’s going to “turn into something. I’ve forgiven him everytime but it’s hard to forget. It’s not just the cheating though. He shows zero effort in our relationship unless I’m mad at him and he’s trying to make it up to me or if he thinks I’m talking to another guy that may take a liking to me. He says we can’t get a babysitter for date night but I could sit here and think of so many ways to do an “at home” date night. Now recently he added a coworker on fb who has flirted with him and bought him gifts in the past. He is a supervisor at his job and I told him this is sending her the wrong message and he told she had been respecting his boundaries and that’s why became fb friends with her. Then a couple days later he came home to tell me she was making advances towards him once again. Yet, still does not delete her. I wasn’t going to continue bringing it up to him. I explained to him how I felt initially and he did nothing and at this point I am beyond exhausted from explaining his wrong actions and the reasons in which they feel wrong. If he doesn’t understand by now then there’s nothing else I can do. Another issue is that when he tried to cheat last time, consider us separated and then a couple months later, I began a physical relationship with another man. So now I’m also dealing with my own emotions that come with that and the craving to return the comfort of another man. Sometimes I feel like I’ve checked out of this marriage all together. I feel so disrespected and ignored. I think my husband hates me and just doesn’t realize it yet.