I work in finance and recently switched from a huge firm to a small ~200 person company. For 2-3 months now the woman who recruited me has been after me. Started with wanting me to text her pics of a house I’m remodeling, then basically didn’t stop talking. I picked up on it right away, then a week or two in she started telling me how she’s ‘smitten’ about me and has been putting pressure on me to date since. I’ve kept my guard up because of the coworker/HR aspect and the fact that there’s other differences such as she has two cats and I don’t like/am allergic to cats.
Regardless, I can’t help but like her and wonder because we have a lot in common and overall vibe together. I’ve been open about my feelings, both good and bad and if doesn’t seem to affect her. I’m in a senior management position and she’s a HR manager. We’re in different offices/cities which are 35ish mins apart. This brings me to my question, would you ever date someone in HR?
11 comments
I’d only do it at a giant megacorp where they probably have processes to guard against bad outcomes and lots of other HR people.
I wouldn’t. I could maybe make the exception if it was a coworker of the same/similar seniority, but the power dynamic here is just too risky.
There’s other fish in the sea – ones that won’t put you on back on the job search if things go south.
Hey so I’m going to go opposite here and say that maybe you actually should if you want to. Everyone is concerned about losing your job, BUT, I think if you documented everything well and you got fired as retaliation for something personal with her you’d have a tremendous pay day from a lawsuit against the company. You
may even want to consult a lawyer about what kind of information to be sure you have and such before taking it on.
A wise colleague once said to me “Never eat where you shit”.
Its not impossible but its very risky and very uncommon. A former friend did just that and surprisingly they’re still together (I think).
Your actions and decisions are yours though caution cannot be emphasized enough. Best wishes, brother.
I’d say go for it but proceed with caution. I personally have had several relationships with coworkers but they always 1. worked in different departments and 2. neither my side or their side had the potential to abuse power if the relationship went south.
Of all places, HR?
Literally the “Gossip, Information and Secrets” department, and usually they’re stuck up for whatever reason.
Huge pass. No thanks.
If you’re gonna date someone, at least try Finance or Cafeteria People for some life perks.
Different offices.
Just go out on a date see if there is chemistry. Plenty of people have ended up married etc. You said you do like her. You may regret it if you pass.
Life is short- if you have a strong skill set of you need to job hop and have an open conversation prior to dating about of things don’t work out and trust the result of the conversation go for it.
Nope, I see my partner every day. I don’t want to see her even at my job.
Dont shit where you eat
Don’t date co-workers and DEFINITELY don’t date someone in HR. She could easily ruin your career due to her position.
Don’t date lawyers either.