What are your thoughts when your partner tells you who to accept requests and not on your social media?

18 comments

1. Controlling AF and no way do they get to meddle in my business like that. Huge red flag

2. Not their business. Seems like trust still needs to be built and earned.

3. It would be very context dependent.

   For example, if my husband asked me not to accept requests from his relatives, fine. That’s a boundary that is tied to and does impact him.

   If my husband asked me to unfollow any men (for example, male friends) I follow on social media, not fine. That would result in a conversation about insecurities and me pointing him in the direction of a therapist.

4. Well that’s a fast way to become my ex-partner.

5. That would be really irritating, as it’s not their business.

6. My thought process is a little different from the other replies. If he didn’t want me accept requests from guys, I’d honestly be okay with it. If he’s insecure about it, I’d put myself in his shoes and try to see from his perspective.

   I’m the type that would also get insecure if he accepted other girls friends requests. Also, I’m stingy when it comes to him. I wouldn’t jump to saying it’s controlling, it’s just his preference.

7. That it’s none of their business who I let on my social media. And that I don’t appreciate that they think they can tell me what to do.

8. My partner doesn’t try to police my social media connections. In most situations, I would consider it controlling if they tried to dictate that to me. If they don’t like my social connections, they are welcome to see it as a deal-breaker and end the relationship.

9. I think it’s one thing if you HAVE to run every request by your partner. I try to be vigilant, if I think someone would make my partner uncomfortable. I don’t accept it. If my partner were to see someone I have accepted and told me it made him uncomfortable, then we could have a discussion about why. I don’t mind being completely transparent with him, I love him.

10. Depends on the situation, but there’s no one (especially someone I’d just be now adding to my social media) who would take precedence over my husband. He’s never stepped in before, but if he made a point that he didn’t want me to accept a request from someone, I’d respect his wishes.

11. Firstly if my partner comes to me with a concern I will listen to him and take it very seriously. He will most certainly do the same for me out of respect for my feelings and concerns.

    That being said he would never do this. We have open phone policies and use each other’s phones frequently. In the 8 and a 1/2 years we’ve been together he has never looked at my social media or communications. He has no interest who I accepted friends requests from and no idea who is on my social media.

12. That would absolutely not fly with me. A control freak would be kicked to the curb.

13. That’s fine. If my husband wants me to remove and not accept friend request from men I’ll do it as long as it’s reciprocated with him when it comes to women.
    There has to be some type of trust though. I trust that he won’t do bs and he trusts I won’t.

14. I’d shut my partner down immediately. I’m very compartmentalized and am all about us having our separate individual lives and then the time and privileges set aside to make up the life we cultivate together (our couple life). My spouse stepping over that line into what is mine is not tolerated and I wouldn’t ever expect them to tolerate it from me. Social media is a minor thing but it’s still in that personal life side and it’s none of their business.

15. My particular husband, who has no issues with jealousy, and genuinely cares about my best interest? I’d hear him out. If his reason was good, like “he posts nothing but Touhou videos and he posts like 20 a day,” or “She badmouths her mom and I know that’s hard for you to watch,” or “they’re super NSFW,” I’d thank him.

    If he was all like”Don’t follow that person because they’re too attractive,” we’d have to have a serious discussion.

16. Gosh, what did I miss up to this point to end up with someone who’s so controlling?

    No.

    You don’t tell me who I socialise with, network with, talk to or work with.

    Deal breaker. GTFO.

17. My social media profiles are public (for “business”, I generally don’t use social media for “personal” use/sharing).. so there are technically no “requests”.

    He knows what my posts/stories/content is like, he trusts me a bizzarely odd amount,… but if he suddently decides he wants to have some say on who I follow/don’t follow or whom I allow to follow me.. we’d have a talk.

    I’d wonder why he wants this, if somehow there’s something upsetting or making him uncomfortable.. And come to an understanding and perhaps some compromise I guess.

18. If they think they should have control over that, they aren’t the person for me.