So I was at an art show the other day when another artist asked me “what do you do for money”. Normally when people ask me what I do, I say I’m an artist and they are like “oh cool, what type of art do you do?” and the conversation goes fine. But this artist could clearly see that I am not at all successful and am not making enough money to live off of my art. It is honestly really, really, REALLY obvious for reasons I won’t go into.
I wound up flubbering for like 10 seconds, and then saying freelancing without any more specifics. I then asked her what she did and she started talking about her day job.
I felt bad for lying to this person, but I ain’t going to walk into a room of broke artists with day jobs and say ” oh I’m a trust fund brat who has never worked a day in his life and spends most of his time making paintings no one buys. What do you do?”. Literally none of them would ever speak to me ever again. But also, I don’t want to lie to anyone.
I am now very nervous of this happening again. What should I do in similar situations in the future?
31 comments
I would argue that you should embrace the truth of your situation. I mean you don’t have to go into details about being a trust fund kid, but I don’t see the point in just lying because you think you are protecting their feelings.
If people judge you because your family secured a future for you fuck em, their not worth worrying about. Just be straight up, and maybe try to even get a joke in to not make it so serious. That whole starved artist cliche is cringey really. Every person on the planet is trying to make good on their life with what they have available, broke or more set up just the same. Good luck on the art, hope it gets where you want it to be.
you gotta just get good at art man honestly. or get a genuine day job in a field you’re passionate in
Lol you’re way overthinking it. Just be honest. I do art for a living, and I’m not rich by any means, but its a lot more lucrative of a career than people tend to imagine it as. No one’s going to be offended by you telling them that you’re currently living off an inheritence. If they are, then fuck em, who cares?
Not oversharing is not lying. Freelancing is a perfect answer if you don’t want to talk about your art.
Also I’m a therapist and don’t like the typical follow up questions associated with telling people I’m a therapist so a while back I literally made a post asking how to describe my job in a boring way so no one ask follow up questions lmao
Personally I think that’s an incredibly rude, inappropriate question. Stop it in its tracks with humor. Oh you know… most often I pan the hills for gold, or I play the high-stakes tables in Vegas… tough life but somebody’s got to do it. Then chuckle and change the subject. Nice way of saying none ya business!
“Currently living off savings.”
Well a ton of artists are trust fund kids – the art world is very nepotistic. So really you aren’t that out of place lol.
“Right now I still have a bit of financial runway from some previous stuff so that I can focus on improving my art.” – >And then hook into the art part or something else.
Having said that: ” oh I’m a trust fund brat who has never worked a day in his life and spends most of his time making paintings no one buys. What do you do?”
Your choice of words here kinda betrays that you’re not really proud of – or happy with yourself in your current form. You might wanna try and change that. If actually getting a job, or doing a few days of charity work a week gives you more pride in who you are and self-respect, then that’s worth it. The above sentence you wrote basically says “I don’t respect myself.” And I can tell your from experience, gaining self respect is worth ALL the effort you put into it. Self-respect is a game changer.
I wanna bet that if you focus on self-respect, whatever form that may take, in the end you won’t even have a problem just stating you have a trust fund and you’re very lucky in that way, because you’ll be able to carry it with the rest of who you are as a person.
As politely as possible, tell them it’s none of their fucking business. Seriously, it’s a rude question, and there is nothing wrong in giving an equally rude answer.
Could say you are an investor?
Try to be a waiter in Southern California because the judgmental phonies will slam doors shut You have to lie and strangers don’t deserve honesty
Own it bro. Peoples opinion of your success are irrelevant. Only your opinion matters. Other people work for someone else and hate it. You are your own boss.
I recently took a sabaticcal thanks to an inheritance.
I found a sentència like “my father’s death came with an unexpected upside” shut up plenty of nosy people.
For the nicer ones I was subtler, “I received an ihneritance that gave me some freedom/margin of movement”
I’m just gonna be very honest with you, the majority of people will judge you for being a trust fund artist, and possibly with good reason. Riding on the coattails of your rich parents communicates to people that you aren’t really your own person with no achievements. Artistic achievements are in my opinion the most desirable and commendable achievements a person can make it they’re good and I would very much love to be in a position where I could strictly focus on art, but to compensate for being a trust fund artist you have to back it up by being actually good.
Human existence is almost entirely hinged on perception, and to be perceived as valuable in any sense of the word you need to back it up with true ability in some form. It will be exceedingly difficult to back it up for many years until you actually get good, and in the meantime for at least some self worth I’d recommend getting a job. It might not be a good job by any means, but it would be better for you on the mental and social side if you were actually doing something. In my experience the people who have lived their lives persuing art on the coattails of their parents money have been insufferable due to lacking any true real world experience, making them a bit self centered and narcissistic.
There is the real possibility that you aren’t a good artist, or that you’ll never reach the ability in your craft to actually be noteworthy enough to make it all worthwhile. You could live your life as a shitty artist and die a shitty artist, living a truly meaningless life.
Again, just trying to be real with you here. There is also a very real possibility that you are a good artist, or that some day you will be, but if I were given the possibility of doing nothing with my life than making art that no one enjoys or acknowledges, or doing something else that’s meaningful and productive while enjoying my creativity on the side, I would choose the ladder.
Regardless of you career or financial status, always tell people you are unemployed. Anyone who asks you about your financial status is qualifying the level of respect they will show you and is not worth your time.
Come up with a vague plan and stick to it.
My friend Ricky tells people that he does consulting and works when he gets an e-mail.
I’ve known him for 5 years and just found out that he does consulting on point of sale systems.
Another friend inherited millions and just says he is retired. It’s easy to say that when you have gray hair.
I had another friend who would say she was dependently wealthy and didn’t have to work because her parents wanted her to help them at home. They were elderly when I knew her.
Oh, I know another person who is wealthy and lives at the beach in a mansion with his wife and 5 kids. He tells people he is a treasure hunter and got lucky once upon a time.
You don’t have to tell people what you consult on or who you are dependent on.
You could say you made a good sale last year (to a private buyer) and have been coasting on it.
Just say you work at a bank
“Just another struggling artist, trying to work hard and make a breakthrough like most! One of these days, I’ll make it!”
Usually I try to add humor and positive notes to make the convo good then switch the topic of interest if needed.
Being an artist is inherently vulnerable. Embrace your life experience because it’s what makes your art have meaning. The ones that will judge you for having a day job probably don’t know what it’s like to struggle and still feel the need to express themselves.
First, if you do what you love its not labour, its joy. Second, you can come with new answers like “whatever it takes. Show me the money, try to keep me from taking it…”
Get a day job (maybe part time) and say you do that. Or say you’re self employed or something
Hand them a business card lol. Works every single time
Tell them you’re a professional dom and that several members of the city council (who you wont name) are really into the whole diaper thing.
As little as possible
Be honest about how blessed and fortunate you are.
Or start freelancing..
Odd jobs here and there. Office work mostly.
Vague, and I presume you have an office somewhere.
They’re going to be FAR more inclined to never speak to you again if they find out you lied to seem relatable and aren’t actually who you say you are rather than knowing the truth about your situation. As long as you approach it in an aware/non-entitled way no one should have a problem with it.
I am fortunate enough to be able to consider art my full time venture right now” or something like that.
Building relationships on a false sense of who you are isn’t building a true relationship.
Don’t share that you have trust funds. People don’t like that.
No one rewards you for being honest.
Just say that you freelance or something similar.
I’ve heard the problem is the solution. You could say:
I struggle with how to answer that so let me ask you something : If you were a trust fund baby who never worked a day in his life and spends most of his time making paintings no one buys how would you answer that? Cause doesn’t that sound obnoxious?
I think finding a way to say the thing you’re afraid to say by expressing that concern creates such vulnerability which is a great thing! Don’t resist the truth in order to keep yourself small.
Or you could say something like: ya know I dread this question because I want to be honest but I don’t want to be misunderstood but here goes… I’m a trust fund brat… I get to do what I love without worrying about how I’m not moving any of my art.
Here’s a video about vulnerability just an aside:
https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o