He’s “attracted to petite women”

27 comments

1. I’m sorry but he’s being an AH. A size 8/9 isn’t that large. The problem is with him, not you. If you stay with him get yourself a toy.

2. >Says he loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me, but he doesn’t want to fuck me either. He’s not attracted to me. Says love only gets him half way there, but that sex isn’t tied to love like that for him. Says he’s “broken”.

   So my initial thoughts are is he watching alot of porn? Is there someone else? To be clear he’s been like then ever since you’ve changed sizes? Has he considered seeing a doctor..maybe for low T?

   Also 8/9 is still imho a dam good size. Sending you positive vibes and virtual strength op. Ik it’s difficult when the one you love and cherish can’t seem to love you fully through all the changes you’ve experienced body-wise throughout the years.

3. Will he see a sex therapist? I think you can change your conditioning with time, to some extent. I don’t have ‘a type’, I probably have a dozen types, and am loyal once I’m promised.

4. So he was 25 when he picked up a tiny 18 year old size 2?

   What solution is he proposing to this massive problem that he has caused? This isn’t yours to solve. He can try therapy, he can try not being a creep, he can try dialing down the porn. What he can’t do is somehow insist that you magically become 18 again (you are correct that this is literally impossible. Your actual skeleton has changed shape since then) or live a sexless life.

   He needs to find an answer to this issue that he has caused.

5. porn addiction maybe fried his brain and did damadge his sexuality. you are 100% not the problem.

6. The porn comments here are spot-on. He still feeds his brain that bullshit. There’s no way a truly loving partner could not adjust to such a normal change in their partner’s body. It’s not even extreme, he’s delusional.

7. This could be him rationalizing something far more scary to him… erectile dysfunction. He seems disinterested in sex overall. Might be worth it to see if he’s willing to do a hormone screen (blood test). Men’s bodies change too and they look for reasons they can’t get hard anymore. Testosterone supplement might be the key.

8. Love how petite means 5’4” or shorter but men use it to mean skinny

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11. I’m sure he doesn’t look like he did 15 years ago either. He needs to be reminded of that. Our bodies change as we get older and it’s not generally for the better. But normal humans understand that and our minds change along with our bodies. I’m a 59 year old man and I’ve been with my wife for 20 years. We’ve both gotten heavier and we droop in odd places and parts that were once taught jiggle and shake. But we still get turned on looking at each other because we have grown together. We see with our hearts.

    Your husband has some growing to do in an emotional sense. His mind is stuck in a place that he can’t ever and shouldn’t want to go back to. Sex is often called making love for a reason. That physical connection is key to a healthy relationship. Sex connects us on a different level. It helps us to see the person we are with and not just the body they are packaged in. If he won’t make that connection with you the divide between the two of you will only widen.

12. Going through this same thing. I made my husband move out. My weight gain was caused by major health issues that I need to focus on in order to get heathy. Im tired of trying to make this man want me lol.

13. You are beautiful just as you are. You deserve love and intimacy and sex just as you are. Whatever is going on with your husband is not a reflection of you.

14. My mom used to be a tiny, stereotypical 70s woman. Over the years, she gained weight from various reasons. My dad said she was his type back in the 70s, but he had to learn to love here the way she was and appreciate her.

    I think there’s something to trying to appreciate your partner the way they are. Nobody (and no body) is perfect. What would change if you magically could have your old body back? Would you automatically be sexier or is some of this just adult life and reality creeping in?

    If he’s willing to go through therapy, I would say to try this. Could be an eye opener for both of you.

15. Men’s bodies change to with age. Their hair thins out on their head, they grow more on the rest of their body, they usually get a pooch to, they wrinkle just like any human. That’s annoying. I am not suggesting divorce or anything but I would honestly give him a taste of his own medicine, point out something on him he will need to change before you feel sexually attracted to him.

16. I agree with the porn comments too. Like your husband, my husband is older than me – I was 22 when I started dating him at 32. Our sex life has deteriorated while I still find him checking out 22 year old women (and making comments to me). I have barely changed in my figure over the years (37 now) except more cellulite. He watched a ton of porn and follows girls on Twitter that are completely airbrushed. I realized his brain is fucked up when I saw the unrealistic girls he watches online, coupled with his comment to me that I’ve developed a lot of cellulite on my ass.

    I also still get looks from other men so I know I’m not unattractive (many times men 20 years younger than my husband) so I know it’s a him problem not a me problem. I haven’t come up with a solution either but I do definitely find myself inching closer and closer to the door before I get too old. I don’t want to live in a sexless marriage forever.

17. I’m an 8/9 with no kids lol.

18. He’s got ED and is blaming you for being a size 8 ?!?… please don’t fall for that bs!!!

19. And even if you DID some how magically return to how you were before, doesn’t he realise that age and menopause WILL alter your body (hello menopause tummy!) and he too will get saggy (testicles hate gravity!) Age and change are inevitable x

20. And pray tell what size is he now?

21. I don’t understand these men. It’s like they are boys in men’s bodies.

    My wife was a size 2, 5’4 barely. But she isn’t anymore. She gave birth to our kids. She is my team mate. And I CRAVE her.

22. Porn really does awful things to mens brains

23. I love how the guys aren’t attracted to any body changes while they sit there and judge from their dad bod havin’ sweaty ass chair.

24. So then what?

    You’re **THIRTY TWO YEARS OLD!**

    Are you supposed to just accept that your husband goddamn Shallow Hal and be celibate for life?

25. Does anyone else remember that one reddit post where the guy begged for an open relationship and his girlfriend had way more success than him?

    Feels the same here, you’re most likely way out of this guys league yet he’s convinced himself that he could pull supermodels meanwhile you’re likely able to do much better than him lol.

    Maybe I’m too young and petty but I’d say suggest an open relationship and let him figure that out for himself.

26. I’m so sorry about this but dude sounds like he’s attracted to teenagers. It’s likely the kind of porn he watches. Don’t obsess over someone with a possible pathology. You were 18, he was 25. Not a huge gap, but signals something if this is what he’s saying to you 15 years and 2 kids later.

    I know he’s likely the only voice you’ve cared and listened to for your entire adult life, I’m just sorry his voice is toxic.

    Good news is you’re 32. You have time to learn yourself, recover and become as whole of a person you can… then start over.

27. Well I’m attracted to men who look like Jason Mamoa…yet here we are.