so I have this FWB and we’ve been having unprotected sex…. (we both are basically exclusive, which is why we haven’t used protection, but that still doesn’t mean that safe sex is important.) I’m not sure how to mention it in a way that doesn’t sound like I’m sleeping around… It feels like they’re going to be immature about it and take offense to it? So in that case, should I just drop them or is there a way that can really educate them other than yeah safe-sex needs to be practiced, etc. I just don’t think they’re gonna understand because it has been unprotected the last few times. I hope this makes sense and I’m not trying to promote the use of unsafe sex. Thanks in advance I hope not to receive any hate just some advice. (I am well aware of the repercussions of not using protection)
18 comments
Naaah just say put this on if you want this 🍑 if they are immature about it then I’d look for another FwB
“Hey – I changed my mind. We need to start using protection. If you’re not willing to do that we can no longer see each other.”
You really should just bring it up in a straightforward way. Being in a casual relationship doesn’t give this person the right to conceal their own activities that could harm you or break your trust. If you are not agreed to be exclusive and dating, assume they are active with others for your own safety.
In the future if you’re entering a casual relationship with someone in any capacity (one night stand/fwb), safe sex should be talked about beforehand. If they aren’t mature enough to have that conversation don’t put yourself in danger.
A less than mature tip Ik but in the past when I’ve had one night stands, or what I thought were just going to be one night stands, I’d typically lie about being on birth control (saying that I’m not on it when I actually am NOT the other way around). This can scare most men into wearing one and it makes things a bit less accusatory/awkward when you’re being spontaneous.
Just tell him you want him wearing them from now on. If he won’t, just tell him, “Bye-bye.”
Honestly, you should just have a talk with him preferably in person and convey him what you want and what’s the reason for that. If he is a rational adult then he’ll surely get the point at least after sometime even if he didn’t get it initially.
Don’t beat around the bush about it. Be direct. If you demand that your FWB use protection then demand it of them. “If you want to have sex, you’ll have to wear one of these” and don’t accept excuses for why they can’t/won’t wear a condom.
You don’t need to give any explanation except “I thought about it, and what we were doing is risky so I want to use protection now”.
You don’t ask. You tell. If it makes your partner think you are sleeping around, that should motivate them even more to agree to protection. If they just refuse to use it, then you refuse to have sex with them. There are plenty of other people in the world willing to be your FWB with protection.
You don’t have to sugarcoat it. “I want to start using condoms.” If they give any pushback, walk away. FWB is supposed to easy and gratifying, not stressful.
Just ask them. It’s your body.
Be direct and say that you are still being exclusive, but want to be safe from now on. It’s exclusive and safe until he begins sleeping with someone else, and that’s how these things happen, how people get STIs.
the first problem here is an “exclusive fwb”😂😂
If they’re going to be immature about it, they’re not mature enough to fuck you 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry, I’m allergic to unplanned surprises. Time to wrap it up!
I have a FWB, and the only reason we don’t do condoms is because I trust him to pull out before he cums. Even so, if I wanted him to use a condom anyways, he still would. He knows I trust him to help with having safe sex, and he doesn’t wanna break that trust. In addition, both of us do NOT under ANY circumstance want to have kids, and he knows I can’t afford at the moment to go on birth control.
Just ask him, “Hey, would you mind using condoms whenever we have sex?”
If he says he doesn’t wanna, then immediately ask him, “Okay, would you mind getting me pregnant so we can get poor after having a kid?”
Gotta wrap that trouser trout before you blow my back out.
STDs KIDs not with my FWBs
Gotta put on the slicker after you lick her.
Their exact words were, “I won’t let you hit it without a rubber.” It’s a good habit to practice. No pregnancy, no STIs, all fun. I had a partner with the implant, and it was really good, but condoms I feel are a great insurance.
Okay, quick question here, how do any of you guys get to know someone to have fwb things?