As the title says, what are you supposed to do when someone walks past you at an instance where you’re just waiting at the station. When someone walks past me at the station and I’m just staring into the distance I always get anxious, because I don’t want them to think that I’m taking a sneak peek at them. I noticed taking out my phone helps me to relieve the anxiety, but I feel like avoiding the problem won’t help me to get over my anxiety.
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Hi y’all, I just wanted to thank you guys for all the advice and good laughs I’ve received over the past few days 🙂 I just wanted to clarify that I have extreme difficulty acting normal when I’m anxious and that I am seeking help from a psychologist for it. Just posting this on Reddit was a step in the right direction and your input has really helped me!
22 comments
I don’t think anything needs to be said here. It would come off weirder to stop people and clarify that you were not staring.
Honestly I don’t really see a problem in taking a glance at them. I reckon if you’re standing at the station and they’re walking past you then they got places to be. Obviously, you shouldn’t stare at them like a psycho. But I don’t see a problem in taking a quick look.
Smile, nod, say “good (time of day)” .
They probably weren’t aware of your presence anyway, unless you made it weird.
Don’t worry too much about it. Don’t keep your face in your phone this will feed bad habits. If they do look back at you just give them a smile and tell them good morning/afternoon/evening or a subtle wave or something. Smiling at someone brightens their day. I like to imagine I just received great news and am very cheery. I say good afternoon with a big smile and it makes their day and my day better too.
A quick smile and then look away.
If someone looks at me, and I’m in the mood to say hi, I say hi. Otherwise, I don’t feel anything needs to be done. People are very often “in their own heads”, and unlikely to notice.
It’s okay to look at people. Staring at them can be awkward, but looking isn’t an issue.
I just read a headline where a blind guy was kicked out of a gym because some lady thought he was staring at her, so just remember that not all people behave logically, so trying to treat the situation as if it has set rules won’t always work. But it should work more often than not.
Bark at them, then use hand gestures to designate your personal space
I try to look past them,look at my phone or look in another direction i must look crazy lol
It’s actually okay to look at people… they are an element of your surroundings when you’re out in public! As long as you aren’t staring, a glance is fine. You don’t even have to say hi or anything if you don’t feel like it. If someone looks back at you, you can just smile a little and/or look away. We all muse and daydream and sometimes absently look into space; it’s *okay* if someone wanders into the crossfires of your eyesight, or vice versa. None of us know or can assume what is going on in anyone else’s head; you’ve got to talk yourself out of assuming the worst and remember it’s typically just people going about their own day, thinking about their own life.
I was really anxious and intimidated by *everyone* as a kid and young adult, especially when by myself. I felt like it was me out there, and then everyone else was like a single entity that was thinking rude/disparaging thoughts about me. I had (and still have, but fight) this crippling fear of looking or sounding stupid, or embarrassing myself. I think one day it just hit me that I am ALLOWED to take up space. Nobody is paying as much attention to *me* as I am; everyone is similarly focused on themselves most of the time. Now whether or not that’s always true, assuming it is goes a loooooong way towards being comfortable in public. It is *definitely* true that the public is not one single entity that exists to judge you; it’s made up of individuals with different insecurities just like you and me.
Your capacity to be embarrassed or not embarrassed by your own actions is all inside of YOU, not other people. When you own your actions, it turns out nobody questions them! I don’t have to look at my feet, I can look at the world around me and the people in it and nothing bad or different will happen. In fact, a lot of people are really nice and when you engage with them in passing, nice little moments happen! It was seriously like a crashing revelation when I realized I *do* enjoy getting out and having little moments of connection with strangers.
Most people don’t assume that you’re staring at them. It’s okay if someone passes in front of you and enters your line of sight for a brief moment. It’s also a natural response for your brain to tell you “I’ve got to look this way now to check if something/someone is headed towards me/looking at me.” Looking for nonverbal cues is a regular occurrence throughout the day. You’ll do it with some people, and they’ll do it with you. It doesn’t really mean anything.
it doesnt matter
Smile if they make eye contact
This is what happens when your thoughts are very much focused on yourself rather than externalised. If you try to keep your mind active on other things, you won’t be worried about it and you’ll feel a lot less awkward
Start masturbating
If I were this anxious/ neurotic I think the most important piece of advice for me might be: “this is *beneath* concern”
It doesn’t matter whether you glance at them, or don’t glance, or say a pleasant “hi” or nod.
The issue is you think you need a reaction for a social situation all the time. We don’t, silence is the best response in a lot of situations.
Just pretend you’re a statue, and they won’t bother you. Works every time.
KEVIN – Just scream BOO! at them the next time they walk by. It’s a great icebreaker. #NoMoreAwkwardSilences #You’reWelcome.
Just pretend you don’t see them and continue browsing Reddit. Works every time.
Well, you could always break out into an impromptu dance routine to distract them from your intense staring.
KEVIN – Well, you could always try staring at them until they feel uncomfortable and walk away. Or just give them a friendly wave and say hi there, stranger!